


Ealdor Manor Trilogy Part 1

by Maarten



Series: Ealdor Manor Trilogy [1]
Category: Merlin (TV), Merlin - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-05-31 03:50:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19417888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maarten/pseuds/Maarten
Summary: Merlin Emrys is the founder and head psychiatrist of Ealdor Manor, a private clinique for the rich and not so famous. One day a new patient, Arthur Pendragon arrives, with no chance of improvement. After some time it becomes Merlin's most intriguing patient ever.Will he be able to cure him? Why are fewer patients seeking help? How do you banish all evil? What if destiny is something you choose?





	1. A new patient

## Albion 500

Kligharrah comforted him in the best way he could. Merlin leaned sobbing at one of his claws. "He will be back, I promise", the dragon flustered, as far as that was possible for a dragon. The body of Arthur flew in a boat on the Avalon lake. His last trip. "He will be back when Albion needs him the most." Merlin swallowed. "I need him now." "You will live many lives", the dragon said, "and you will forget about him eventually. But I promise, one day, you will remember all this and you will be together." Merlin gripped Excalibur fierce with grief and threw it in the waters of Avalon. A pale hand emerged from the surface and caught the sword. After that life was nothing but waiting, albeit unknown.

## England, 2019

## A new patient

The estate was lush in every way. Vast lawns, the size of soccer fields, with green grass and huge flower borders Monet would dribble on. Low layers of cobblestone, broad paths and spectacular fountains. Old statues, scattered through the estate. No one knew their maker or who they represented anymore, some of them hidden in the bushes or flowerbeds. Through the landscape was a little rippling creek coming from a strangely formed hill, covered with trees, some over thousands of years old. Shouldered by the forest stood the Ealdor Manor, majestic, old, beautiful maintained through the ages. Invisible adapted to modern times without losing any of its grace. The sandstone walls partly covered with dark green ivy, it's colour matching the original shutters for the large windows. Although it was early morning, the bees were humming and butterflies were seen all over the flowers.

An orchestra of birds welcomed the long-legged young psychiatrist and owner Merlin Emrys walking to the manor. He was dressed in a silky blue shirt, white linen trousers and slippers. A summer hat complemented his trousers. His long black hair sticking out everywhere. It was not the generally accepted look of a doctor. But his patients, moreover their families, didn't want to be remembered it was, in fact, a hospital. They preferred it to be a permanent hotel for the rich. A lot of patients were ill as a result of addiction, suffered from severe depression, borderline and PTSD. Some of them were not even diagnosed, their lives just too heavy to live or a bit too crazy for modern society. But they were a burden to their families so they bought them a luxury hideaway.

Merlin offered them the treatment they needed.

With about twenty patients in their personal apartments, it was not a hard job, but he was dedicated and had some astounding results through the years. To him, it came all down to really listen to them, one of his many talents. Last month he released Nimueh, a rising star in the filming business, but phobic, after a year of intensive therapy. She walked proudly out of the manor, with no medication needed. It was his belief, psychiatric diseases found their origin in trauma in very early childhood, even based on events in the womb. He was pretty lonely in his beliefs, but he didn't mind. It worked, and that was all that mattered to him.

Today he would take in a new non-diagnosed patient, Arthur Pendragon, a not talking, troublesome member of the wealthy Pendragon family. Well known all over the UK for their real estate management, buying and selling properties which only started from two million, like manors, luxury villas and even castles. He had been on the waitlist for some time. His father and sister would bring him. Merlin was always curious to meet the family members of the patient. He offered them also treatment, as a believer of systemic therapy. You could isolate the problem, the patient, but the system, the family, had to change too.

Despite the hour, Gwen was waiting for him on the terrace in the shadow of the mulberries. She was head nurse, mother to patients and family, his assistant and the heart of Ealdor Manor. Her soft pink long summer dress matched her tan and her dark brown curly hair. She hugged him briefly and handed him his favourite coffee, strong, black, with honey and ginger. "Hmm, Fahrenheit it is today, love it." He chuckled, "Yep, seducing the Pendragons." They drank their coffee and Merlin smoked an elegant cigarillo. "Would you like me to attend to the in-take today?" Merlin blew out some fantasy smokey figures, a more doubtful talent and nodded. "Yes, please do. I have also asked Gaius to attend too. You know me, I can be pretty blunt at first encounters." Gwen smiled and patted him on his arm. "We'll do the charming so you can be your observant self and diagnose the whole family in your head."

Gaius was his uncle and the residential internist as well as GP. Although he was a medical authority his unconventional approach matched Merlins.

Suddenly their peaceful start of the day was disrupted by a disturbing cry from one of the balconies. They both rolled their eyes. It was Kilgharrah again, like several times a day he really thought he was a dragon and, worse, thought he could fly. Two nurses, Lance and Gwaine, tried to restrain the man and get him back inside.

"He is going to be a problem", Gwen said, "yesterday he threatened Morgause to burn her."

Merlin looked pensively at the struggle on the balcony. "I'm aware it is going to be a problem, but, professional, I am so glad he is acting out more the last weeks. We just have to cope with it."

He stared at Gwen and said: "What if", his favourite sentence, "what if he _was_ a dragon in a former life?" Gwen sighed. She shook her head, raised and said: "Nonsense. He is mental with to much fantasy."

Gwen was loving and caring, a good and loyal friend, but she was also very down-to-earth and pragmatic.

Merlin grinned. He knew Gwen didn't approve of his sometimes non-orthodox approach. They went inside to start their daily routine and met again at eleven when the Pendragons were announced by Gaius.

Within two minutes Gwen had the illustrious, ravishing Morgana and the distant well dressed Uther Pendragon smiling. She was magic with people.

The smiles faded when Merlin immediately after the introduction asked; "Before we start, where is your son?"

"In the car of course", snapped Uther, "he couldn't cope with this."

Merlin met his eyes and said; "Well, that's a pity but I need him here. It is his intake and he is an adult. He is here out of his free will."

Uther snorted. "My son has no will at all, he is just an empty shell."

His reaction gave Merlin an impression of the magnitude of Arthur's illness, and of one of the possible causes. "Nevertheless, bring him here", he arrogantly ordered. Merlin went back to his papers at his desk. Gaius and Uther went to get Arthur and Gwen took Morgana by her arm to get some coffee.

When Uther and Gaius brought Arthur in, Merlin was stunned.

It was a good thing Gwen and Gaius did the talking. He couldn't get his eyes off of him. The boyish man had gorgeous looks, blond tangled hair, maybe a little to fat for his age, wearing a Calvin Klein jogging suit and rugged red sneakers. His expression was totally blank but his eyes stared at Merlin, hardly ever blinking and they were unworldy blue. He shivered, not knowing why. Something itched under his skin. It was a totally new experience, he had to think about it later.

He came only out of his stare when Gaius put his hands on his shoulders and said: Mister Emrys will tell you all about his treatment of your son."

Merlin nodded and met the expectantly looks of Uther and Morgana. He looked back at those distracting blue eyes. "Er. Yes. Er. I will see you every day unless there is a reason not to. I will not diagnose you unless it is really necessary. I will not follow up on any treatment plan, because I just work with what is, every day."

There was no reaction at all. Not the tiniest hint he heard what Merlin just said.

Uther didn't seem interested at all, but Morgana squinted and hung on every word he said. "Can you cure him?" Morgana asked with a timid voice, not matching her appearance.

Merlin nodded. "I can not guarantee I can cure him. But with 80% of my patients, I can take away the causes of the illness."

She whispered: "Thank you."

He made a little bow to her and said: "I would like to see you two individually on a monthly basis."

Uther snapped: "Why?"

Merlin tried to hide a sigh. He didn't like the man. "Because you as a family are part of his illness, his problem."

Uther raised. He shouted to Merlin; "Are you suggesting that I am the cause of...of this?" He pointed to Arthur who still was staring at Merlin.

He took a deep breath. "Definitely, yes", he nodded, "the way you are behaving right now can be related to your son's illness."

Uther looked if he would kill him. Merlin leaned back and smiled gently and calm. Than Uther stormed outside. Gwen followed suit giving Merlin her special annoyed look.

He shrugged.

"You could be right, you know", Morgana said; "you could be so right. But you are the first-ever in his life to say something like that to my father. You better be careful. He has quite a temper." "I admit I have a temper too", Merlin said, looking into the friendly eyes of Morgana, "but only when people irritate me." They both smiled. He raised and accompanied her outside. "Feel free to visit your brother whenever you want, we can also accommodate you for the night, just call Gwen."

When he returned to his office, Gaius was looking at Arthur with the same astonishment as Merlin had. Merlin asked Arthur several times to follow him to his apartment. "It feels like no one is there, you know what I mean?" Merlin agreed with Gaius. So they both raised him and then Merlin just took his hand and pulled him with him. Slowly Arthur started to walk. He seemed not aware of his surroundings, staring into his own nothingness. In his apartment, they put him in a comfortable seat in front of the window. It could be his imagination but Merlin thought he saw a little bit of sadness in his eyes.

They walked back to their offices. "Will and Parseval need to survey him constantly during their nightshifts." Gaius agreed and said; "Why don't you ask your mother to look after him? I am sure she loves to do it and she is quite good at it, as we have seen lately." Maybe that was a good idea, Merlin agreed, His mother was a freelance psychiatric nurse and was very good in the longtime care with individual patients. "Arthur's apartment has a spare room for that purpose", Merlin said and took out his phone to call his mother.

The rest of the day he saw little patients and a lot more paperwork. But he found himself many times staring out of the window, distracted or maybe better, intrigued by his new patient. Not only by his good looks, he was just gorgeous, but what had happened to the boy inside that not talking, staring man? What was he thinking? Was he thinking?

He started to look into his many files on his laptop, reading all sorts of syndromes and clinical pictures. He had too little information to work with, but he strongly believed it was pure trauma that caused the behaviour of this fine young man. He always followed his first impressions. From his medical file, he found that Arthur had functioning brains, no hearing or visibility problems and was, considering his situation, in good health. His mirror-neurons were intact, so he couldn't be deeply autistic. Despite it all, Merlin felt good. He welcomed a new challenge.

By the end of the day he knew everything there was to know about Arthur and his family. He texted Freya and Elena, both inspectors at the local and regional police to inform them about his new patient as he always did.

Before he went home, he entered Arthur's apartment. His mother was already pottering around, making beds, cooking dinner, assisted by Alice, Gaius' wife. He hugged them both before sitting in the window sill, opposite Arthur. It seemed the boy had not moved a limp in all the hours, eyes fixed on the window.

After quite a while, Merlin slowly leaned forward, giving Arthur a chance to see every movement he made. Gently he touched one of his hands. There was a minor shiver, difficult to see, but Merlin did. So he reacted on physical contact. He passed that information to Hunith and Alice to put in Arthur's daily file.

Again he felt something stir inside of him, a tinkle again, right under his skin. He really didn't know what to think about it. It might have something to do with his own sensitivity, talent as well as a burden. Arthur blinked shortly when Merlin withdrew his hand. That was also vital information for him.

But other than that, no one seemed home in that body.

He left the manor pensively. On his way home he strolled through the kitchen garden and collected herbs and vegetables for dinner. He found Leon, head gardener, living in the little house attached to the garden and asked him to fill Arthur''s apartment with strong scenting flowers and plants. It was just a hunch, but he always acted on it. "So, you have a Pendragon in da house", Leon stated. "You'll be famous then?" Merlin grinned. "Yeah, sure. You know how I like that. Not. But maybe when I can cure Arthur people will start to believe me." Leon raised his eyebrows. "Arthur? You mean Arthur Pendragon?" Merlin confirmed. "Why?" "I have been to boarding school with that boy, you know all private and posh. He left one day at sixth class and I have never seen him again." "What happened?" Leon shrugged, "Something with his family I think?"

Interesting, Merlin thought, walking to the opposite end of the estate. He lived in a capital villa on the estate. To capital even for his salary, but he shared the luxury house with Gwaine and Elyan, Gwen's brother. They had separated the house into three parts, each part with enough space to house a family.

He had left the lavish garden as it was and he found his friends greeting him on the terrace while heating the barbeque. He handed them the herbs and went to his kitchen, which was looking out over the terrace. "The fish is in your fridge, the beer in mine", Gwaine told him. Merlin changed quickly in his favourite black shorts and an old white T-shirt. In no time he prepared the trouts, barefoot on the cooling stones in his kitchen while Elyan made a salad.

When the trouts were on the glowing coals, under the supervision of Gwaine, they drank a cold beer and talked about their days. Gwaine, with his boyish charm, his messy hair and eternal stubble, was a therapist. He was running his own business, having a part of a farm in the neighbourhood for his practice where he used horses to help people. The dark-skinned Elyan was the quiet physiotherapist for Ealdor Manor. He worked closely with Merlin since people were kind of off guard when being massaged and they talked easily to the great listener Elyan was. All three of them loved their work and many times they discussed their cases in the evening.

"How's your new patient?" Elyan asked.

Merlin looked at his friends and hesitated while zipping his cold beer.

'It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, mate", Gwaine said.

"No. It's not that. I know everything about the Pendragons now but I know virtually nothing about Uther's son, my new patient. He doesn't talk. He, er, it looks like there is no one living in his body. If his mind is blacked out. For what I know now he is only responding to physical contact and, I sense, to scents and maybe taste."

They sat in silence while Gwaine served the trouts. They handed each other the salad bowl, enjoyed another cold beer and looked at the sunset behind the hills.

"So, the famous Arthur Pendragon is in your mental manor", Gwaine stated. "Be careful with his family. They are horrible. But please introduce me to La Morgana", he smirked. "Way out of your league", Merlin grinned. "But he is intriguing."

"You mean hot and handsome?" Merlin blushed a little and patted Gwaine on the back of his head. "Stop it! Yes, he is handsome but he is to pity not to envy. His father called him 'an empty shell'.

"Oi. That's awful to say of your own son." Elyan shook his head.

"Something about the boy touched me deeply", Merlin said softly, deep in thought. "You mean emotionally?" He shook his head to Gwaine. "No, not only emotional. It is something deeper or not." He waved his hands. "I don't know exactly but when I am around him, it feels like something is itching under my skin, tinkling, stirring. You know?" But his friends didn't know, they hadn't the faintest idea what he was talking about. Neither did he. It felt kind of lonely to him. Although that was nothing new. He would work it out by himself eventually. Merlin smiled at his worried friends. "What if he actually is an empty shell?" And he dived into Gwaines kitchen to fetch some more beers.

"Has it occurred to you that it is kind of funny; Arthur and Merlin?" Gwaine took his new beer and went on: "You know, King Arthur and his sorcerer Merlin. Well, more the mad king and his shrink." They all laughed but it put a little hook in Merlin's mind, to wander around later.

Next morning after his coffee with Gwen and the details for the day, he went straight to Arthur's apartment.

He was already in his seat in front of the window. Hunith had showered him and dressed him in nice jeans and a white button-down shirt. The sun highlighted his blond hair. His face was pale. His eyes now fixed on the many Lavenders Leon had put in the window sill. Watching but not seeing. Maybe he smelled the strong scent of the fresh flowers? As soon as Merlin sat opposite him in the window sill, Arthur locked eyes with him.

After a while, they took him for a walk around the estate on a cool morning breeze. Hunith and Merlin both had one of Arthur's arms in theirs. They adapted their steps to the slow robotic walking of Arthur. He didn't blink, he didn't look around. Only when Merlin was opposite of him he seemed to lock eyes with him, without showing any emotion. He didn't do that to any of the others who took care of him. Only with Merlin. And it sent shivers all the way to his spine. Walking so close to Arthur gave him the same itching under his skin as yesterday. It felt like some unknown, new energy was evoked by touching Arthur. He didn't know what to think about it, he just let it be and strangely enough, he enjoyed it.

When they returned, Arthur looked tired, so Merlin decided to work on his condition on a daily basis, as part of the treatment.

At the end of the day, after seeing a lot of his patients, he took him to Gwaine's practice and put him in the herd. Arthur stood silently in the meadow. The leading mare of the herd came up to him and sniffled his belly. No reaction. She stood there, watching him, relaxed but curious. Merlin and Gwaine sat on the fence, observant, without interfering. The rest of the herd stood still and looked at the two. Apart from their heavy breathing, and the humming of an insect, there was no sound in the hot summer afternoon.

After at least half an hour, Arthur started sweating a little, but other than that, no reaction.

Finally, the mare came closer, sniffed his neck, nibbled at his ear and slowly put her head on one of Arthur's shoulders. Nothing happened. When Merlin was about to stop it, Arthur lifted his left hand, very slowly. It looked like the movement took a lot of energy. As if he was weightlifting. In the end, he got his hand in the neck of the mare and started to caress her shoulder part. She whinnied, at last, bowed her head gracefully and went back to her herd. They all started to graze again. Arthur was still standing. His left hand raised in the air, almost catatonic.

Merlin took him back home to the care of Hunith. For the time being, he ordered his staff, if he wasn't able himself, to walk with Arthur every morning and bring him to the herd every late afternoon. The only visible change after a week was the colour on his face. And he lost a pound.

Merlin became quite intrigued by his new patient. It happened always if someone was not so easy to diagnose let alone to cure. He consulted his colleagues all over the world. No one could offer him a cure, not even an explanation. In the evenings he read all there was to read about any mental disorder which matched the description of Arthur's behaviour. He even dreamed about him. He would wake up in the middle of the night, scribbling down the fragments of the dream, just in case it had a hidden clue for him.

Saturday evening Gwaine found him sleeping on top of his books at his kitchen table. He patted him on the back of his head. Merlin startled, jumped in his seat. "Mmph. What?" Gwaine dragged him outside and threw him in a chair in front of a campfire and poured him some red wine. "Here. Drink." Merlin zipped and sighed, trying to get awake.

Gwaine served him a roasted steak. "You haven't eaten today, like many days. So, I'd say your obsessed again."

Merlin frowned. "I am not!"

"Yes, you are. Now eat and drink and please for one moment get that Arthur boy out of your head."

Merlin frowned some more and than he chuckled. "I guess your right. And I am starving." He munched that steak away in no time.

Gwaine knew him all to well and served him another one. He stopped after his third steak, burped in a way he never did in the company of people and gulped down his glass of wine. Gwaine refilled his glass, sat close to Merlin and said: "Now tell me, why are you so keen in diagnosing and finding a cure?" Merlin locked eyes with his friend, who knew him all his life. "I dunno?" Gwaine didn't look away. "Why is a diagnose and a cure so important to you all of a sudden? You never bother normally." Merlin raised an eyebrow, sighed and shifted his eyes to the flames in the chilly evening. "I don't. Don't I?"

The burning wood rustled. The blackbird sang. An owl squawked. The clouds went from orange to red and purple with the sunset. The summer night fell on them in the darkest of blue.

"What do you feel, right now?"

Merlin couldn't find words to express his feelings. That was bad for a psychiatrist, it was bad for himself too. He who always was able to express his feelings, even when it was not convenient. He reflected on it, went all the way down inside.

Gwaine let him be, gave him time and space. He breathed heavily and said: "I feel I am destined to meet the man inside this shell called Arthur." Soft, slow tears went down his cheeks. He put his hand on Gwaines arm. "I have to meet him, you know?"

Gwaine hugged him and whispered in his ears: "Than go do it. Follow your guts, your instincts. Do what you feel, not what would impress the Pendragons." Merlin sobbed some more on his friend's shoulders. "Yes. Right. Thank you, my friend."

They still sat at the fire when the stars appeared, smiling in silence as only good friends could. After the second bottle of wine, Merlin raised, tired and half-drunk. He kissed Gwaine on his head and went inside. He left the doors open, as he did all summer, for fresh air, the scents and the birds. He dropped his clothes on the floor and dived under the duvet and slept dreamless until midmorning.

After a cold night, summer was back that Sunday.

Yawning he made a strong sweet coffee, pulled a cigarillo and went in his shorts outside to let the sun rays warm his skin.

As he let his eyes wander over the estate, a deer approached him. He called her by her name although he didn't know where it came from. She listened and didn't seem afraid. She curiously came to him and sniffed him. The hazelnut eyes rested upon him while she laid herself at his feet. He raised carefully, afraid she would leave and went inside to get her some feed. With some fresh lettuce on his open hand, a bottle of water in the other, he went back to his chair. She still was there, her head tilted in expectation. He showed her his hand and she ate the leaves, one by one. After that, she drank from the bottle and let her head rest on his knees. He gently caressed her soft warm red-brown skin and knew, something was changing in his world, his life, in his body, in his mind.

More important, he wasn't afraid of it anymore. Willingly embracing all that would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://thriveglobal.com/stories/risk-uncertainty-evolve-in-your-own-lifetime/?fbclid=IwAR1UcfY0Qp1ruDeIViKZ4K4gAc-rBb9eqLK42zF9ZGqVMqckTYLbGpvoy64


	2. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every major change starts with a tiny little step, often unnoticed.

**Changes**

"How do you feel about your brother?"

They were seated in Merlin's consulting room in front of the open doors. looking out to the uprising forest. A light summer breeze played with her long black curls and her matching silk dress. Birds were singing. Scents of summer flowers drifted in.

Morgana leaned forward and squinted. She turned her head and looked outside. With a sigh, she said to Merlin: "I miss him. I miss him so much. You have no idea. We were siblings and always fighting but underneath that, we loved each other."

Merlin didn't respond, he was calmly observant and listened. He heard and felt what wasn't said.

"I feel", she sobbed, "when my mother died, a part of him died too."

A silence lingered on.

"What did you think when Arthur stopped talking?"

She glanced at him, frowned a little and said: "He didn't stop immediately. After father told us mother died, we just cried for days. We slept in the same bed every night. Uther was more angry than sad at that time." Her voice raised; "We had to comfort each other. No one else would." She waved her fists around. "We were kids, but we were left alone. With nothing."

"How old were you when your mother died?"

"Ten. Arthur was just nine, well, er, she died exactly on his birthday." Silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

"After we came back from her funeral, Arthur stopped talking. He never said a word since that day. Day by day we saw him withdraw into himself, more and more. We just lost him. I felt powerless and angry at the same time. Angry because he quit, that's how it felt. No matter what we did, we couldn't get through to him." She brushed her hair with both her hands, wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled sadly to Merlin. "How is this going to help Arthur?"

Merlin returned her smile and said; "I know nothing of him and he is not going to tell me his story at the moment. I need to know where he came from and what happened, what triggered him." Morgana nodded. "I see."

"What do you know about the death of your mother?"

She looked away, moved her eyes restlessly, "She, er, she just died. I think? In fact, I know nothing about her death. Uther wouldn't hear her name anymore and he never said a word about her or her death. Strange though, when I tell it to you now, but at the time, it was the way it was."

Merlin nodded. "One more question for today and than we go to your brother. Where was Arthur when your mother died?"

She frowned and got a worried expression in her eyes. "Do you think...", she stopped, frowned some more. She put one hand over her mouth. She whispered: "The first night after our mother died, he came to me in the night and crept into my bed. He kept saying: 'Mother didn't want to die. Mother didn't want to die', over and over again. He drove me mad. He only stopped when I told him if he didn't shut up he would have to go back to his own room. I have never given it any thought until now. Has he......do you think he?"

Merlin looked at her with love and compassion. "It is possible, Morgana. It is possible he has seen something so bad, the only way out for him was in. The only way to survive for him was to sort of getting out of our world. He might be still in shock. I don't know for sure but it is what my gut tells me."

He raised and showed her his bathroom in case she needed it. Meanwhile, he poured them some coffee and walked outside to the terrace. When Morgana came back, refreshed and with new makeup on her face, they sat outside and enjoyed their coffee. He pulled one of his elegant cigarillo's. "Ow, I love them, do you mind?" Merlin grinned, "no not at all, please do. These days I rarely meet people to smoke with." Gwen found them laughing. "Ah, you finally found another 'friend' I see", she smiled at Merlin and winked at Morgana. "Bonny and Clyde, Morgana smirked. Gwen caressed Morgana on her shoulders. "Are you ready to see your brother?" Morgana nodded. "Yes, totally." "Good", Gwen said. "I will bring you to him when you're ready and I can stay around if you like?" Morgana nodded, "I would love that if it is not to much a burden to you?" Gwen shook her head. "Not at all. In the afternoon Merlin will take over and take both of you on Arthur's daily trip."

They strolled out of his office and Merlin stayed behind in his seat till a little knock on the door announced his next patient. To his surprise, he opened the door to Kilgharrah. The man never came out of his rooms on his own. He looked calm, taller somehow.

"My lord", he said with a stunning voice and bowed to Merlin. Until now, the man had nothing but squeaked with a high and nervous sound.

"Mister Kilgharrah", Merlin said and found himself bowing a little too. He gestured to the seats, the man thanked him politely and waited till Merlin sat before he did. This was some transformation. Merlin looked at him. The man smiled politely, full of confidence he never had shown before. He waited, although he was tempted to jump in his seat, shouting; "What the hell happened?" But he couldn't, could he? He wondered. Was it the medication? Was it my therapy? He felt lightheaded looking at the man. His eyes old and wise, he never noticed before. What on earth could have caused this major change? Nevertheless, he said to his own surprise; "What the hell happened?" Never had he felt more unprofessional and than again, never more sincere.

Mister Kilgharrah smiled and said; "I am glad you've noticed, my lord. I have come to peace with who I am." Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Tell me, who are you?" The man bowed his head and said: "It is not the time, nor the place to tell you, but bringing Arthur here is the best thing you ever did." Without thinking Merline snapped; "That's external!" He nodded and explained; "It is of course not only your wise decision to show him your hospitality but merely my reaction to it."

Merlin waved his hands; "I am lost."

He felt a shiver and got goosebumps, not knowing if it was for the beauty of it or out of fear.

"For now, I let you be. Things will unfold itself in the near future. I only wanted you to know, I am at your disposal. Like I have always been and always will be. Just call my name." Then he raised, bowed politely and walked out of his office, leaving Merlin in utter astonishment.

Gaius found him while he was still seated with a blank page of his notebook in front of him and his pen in his mouth. "Difficult session, I presume?" "Utterly strange", Merlin replied and raised slowly, feeling a bit dizzy.

Absentminded he looked with Gaius to the medication for this week and they compared their agenda's. One by one they discussed their patients. Merlin stopped talking when they came upon Mister Kilgharrah.

"Well?" Gaius put his hand on Merlin's arm. "You are distracted, my boy."

Merlin nodded. "I am, ain't I?"

He rumbled through his papers. "Let's phase out the medication for this one. He doesn't need it anymore. Would you be as kind as to examine him thoroughly and inform me of your findings?"

Gaius raised his eyebrow. "Of course I will, I'll schedule him today. What is the reason to stop medicating the so-called 'dragon'?

Merlin gazed at his uncle. "See for yourself when you meet him and stop calling him a dragon."

"I am sorry, Mister Temper, but you have to admit he did a pretty good impersonation, didn't he?" Merlin chuckled. "I'm sorry Gaius. I am so wrapped up at the moment in Arthur and Kilgharra, I take them with me after work." Gaius put an arm around his nephew and walked outside with him. "That's what we do sometimes. That's why we make a difference in our profession. As long as you are aware of it, it's okay." "Yeah, I know", he responded and hugged him, "thanks for reminding me."

Later that day he met Morgana and Arthur outside. She had changed into tight jeans and sneakers, a dazzling white wide shirt over it. She had given Arthur a hair cut. It looked good on him, the pale shining gold above his tanned face. It made his eyes look even bluer.

The two of them walked hand in hand while Morgana was talking to him all the time. His total lack of response didn't seem to bother her. Merlin put him in the herd while Gwaine joined them. They sat on the fence and observed him.

As always, Arthur just stood there. Only this time he turned around and locked eyes with Merlin. The leading mare came up to him, stopped next to him, sniffled briefly at him and started to look in the same direction.

"Now that's what I would call a change", Gwaine whispered. "You can say that again", Merlin responded under his breath, without looking away of Arthur's piercing eyes. After tantalising minutes, Arthur raised his right hand under the Mares head, caressed her slowly. He even leaned his head to hers, without blinking and still looking at Merlin. "Oh my god", he heard Morgana say. After a while, the mare whinnied, pushed him gently and went away. Arthur lowered his hands and sighed. Merlin got off the fence and walked straight to him without blinking. He hugged him tightly.

If he couldn't use words he would use his body to express his feelings.

Just as he was about to let him go, Arthur raised one arm and patted him softly and slowly on his back. Merlin knew how to appreciate the tiny little things and he was touched by it. When he let go, he took his hand and walked him back to the fence.

Little did they know how stunning they looked, their silhouettes against the backlight of the summer sun.

Morgana had her cheeks wet with tears. Gwaine looked intrigued both by Arthur as well as Morgana.

When they walked back in the warm summer breeze, he asked her what she would do for the night. "I'll get some food and have an early night." He looked at Gwaine, who nodded in appreciation. "Why don't you come with us for dinner? What's up tonight, Gwaine?" "Take away Sushi it is", he smiled widely, "Elyan will get it and you are more than welcome." Morgana beamed at them, "I'd love that if you don't mind the extra company."

Back at the manor, he also invited Gwen, who smilingly agreed. While the women would change clothes and things, Gwaine and Merlin walked home. "You are at your best at the moment", Gwaine said, "you being you, always brings out a remarkable change in people, if you have an eye for it." Merlin grinned at his friend, "Thanks, mate."

At home, they both hopped in their showers and changed in comfy summer clothes. Merlin found Gwaine sweeping the terrace. He had even set out a nice long table with his rarely used tableware. "Hm", he smirked, "all for the lady huh?" Gwaine flushed a little, something also rarely happened. "I'll help you", and he strolled through the garden collecting flowers for a large bouquet he placed in a big vase on the table. They even made a nice pile of wood, just in case the temperature would drop. Jugs with icy water with lemon and mint completed it all.

Too satisfied with themselves they awaited the arriving of the ladies.

They came arm in arm, barefoot, both in long stylish summer dresses and of course, they loved the table setting. The always charming, witty Gwaine, seemed to have lost his confidence together with his tongue. He stumbled over chairs while greeting Morgana and Gwen, dropped a glass or two and was flushing all the time. Gwen immediately got it and smiled to Merlin, who let his friend struggle for a while.

Morgana simply ignored him.

While they were all seated and zipping water and wine, Elyan arrived with the food. He hugged Gwen and kissed the hand of Morgana, which got him an angry look of Gwaine. "Now that's what this terrace was missing, two gorgeous ladies." His genuine smile made him look even more like his sister.

After some wine, Gwaine was his charming self again. Although he couldn't stop looking at Morgana. She was seated next to Gwen and they acted already like lifelong friends, having their own jokes, no one understood, as only women could do.

They ended dinner with some coffee and cigarilloes.

Elyan asked; "How's your brother doing?" Morgana leaned back and took a shawl. Gwaine immediately jumped to light the fire.

"In general, he looks better, has a tan, is losing weight. That's already an improvement. Moreover, I think I witnessed some tiny but important changes today. Isn't it?" She looked at Merlin.

He nodded. he inhaled the smoke and blew out some stunning figures to the excitement of Morgana. The others rolled their eyes. "Showing off again, mate", Gwaine chuckled.

"I think, big transformations always start with hard to see tiny changes, yes. Arthur looking directly at me. Caressing a horse. Minor on the outside but to him, I think these are major changes."

Morgana leaned forward and said; "What did you see today?"

Merlin exchanged looks with Gwaine. "I don't know exactly what we saw. Arthur turned around after being put in the herd. He did choose to look at us, somehow. His caressing looked like it took him little effort."

"And he leaned into the horse", Morgana stated.

"Yes, he did and he was, sort of relaxed", Merlin said.

"What about his staring at you? He never has looked someone in the eyes, not even us."

Merlin hesitated.

"Well, he obviously has a crush on Merlin", Gwaine joked. Now it was time for Merlin to flush. Morgana looked from Gwaine to Merlin, till they both were blushing. She chuckled and rolled eyes with Gwen. "Men", they both laughed. "But, nevertheless, the two of you would be a wonderful couple, I wouldn't mind", she patted Merlin on his arm.

He smiled, suddenly shy.

Then, in a low and soft voice, he said: "I think, his locking eyes with me is really his desperate way of reaching out to me, for help."

Morgana nodded and said; "The way he reacted to you, hugging him, wow, that was so touching. To me, you are a wizard."

In the silence that followed, Elyan said with his lowest voice; "His name was; Merlin."

They all laughed. There it was again, Merlin thought, I really have to get back to my history lessons or brushing up my myths and legends or something. He heard Elyan say; "I have bought the whole series and every year around Christmas, I watch Merlin." Gwen laughed; "You still do that? So funny. You were mad about the show when the BBC started it. You even cried for days when they finished, back in 2012 I think?" Elyan sniggered. "No more wine for you, little sis, before you tell more embarrassing stories about your brother."

It was a good company that night. When they parted, Elyan drove Gwen home in Ealdor and Gwaine courtly offered to walk Morgana to the manor. Merlin cleaned the table and went to bed. He didn't hear his friends coming back, he fell asleep to the sound of the extinguishing fire and to his own surprise, dreamt of knights in shining armour.

Next morning he found Morgana already sitting close to Arthur, talking to him in the warming tone she only used for him. "Can I have a word with you?" She asked after she had joined him in the windowsill. "Sure, my mother can take Arthur for a walk, if that's okay with you and we can talk on my terrace."

And so they did, while Gwen brought them coffee and fresh croissants.

"I need help, I think." She looked worried, nibbling on the food.

He didn't saw that coming. In the broad daylight, he noticed dark circles now under her eyes, carefully hidden with makeup. "Spit it out Morgana", he said.

"I have horrifying nightmares ever since I was a child. Every now and then I would wake up crying in the middle of the night. I even saw a shrink, who didn't think much of it. Only the last couple of months it is not now and then, it is almost every night. It's exhausting and I am afraid of losing it."

Merlin nodded. "Nightmares tell us a lot. They are messages of our soul. I'd love to help you with that. Why don't you just stay in your apartment in the Manor, it is not booked for the rest of this month?" She sighed from relief. "Thank you, I appreciate it. I have some properties in the region to look over but in the afternoons I can be here, that is if you have time?" "Don't worry, I will make time for you. Now, for a start, do you need some sleep medication?" She shook her head. "No thanks, it makes me groggy during the day." He nodded and hummed. "I will ask Gaius, he is the GP of the Manor and my uncle. He makes pure natural medicines by hand, from herbs out of our own kitchen garden." Morgana nodded. "Yes, I would like to try that, thank you. You are so kind."

When Morgana had left, Merlin informed Gwen about the extended use of the apartment and asked Gaius to bring some sleep medication to her.

He really needed to catch up with his paperwork. So he pulled Kilgharrah's file and updated the information. He shook his head after writing down a summary of his latest session with the man. Did he improve or did he just get into another delusion? _For now, I let you be. Things will unfold itself in the near future. I only wanted you to know, I am at your disposal. Like I have always been and always will be. Just call my name'_. He read it over and over again. That would have been something. He childishly called out Kilgharrah's name and rolled his eyes while closing the file.

Out of thin air, Mister Kilgharrah popped up, right in front of him.

Merlin jumped, startled and shouted; "What the fuck." The man smiled politely, bare-chested as he was. Caught in the middle of dressing?

"You called, my lord? How can I help you?"

The next moment Gaius ran into his office. His mouth opened when he saw Kilgharra, a worried look on his face. "What the hell just happened", he said, looking at Kilgharrah and the pale-faced Merlin.

"My master called and I had to answer that immediately."

Gaius raised one eyebrow. "I didn't hear you talk over the phone?"

The men chuckled. "Oh, ignorance. The tiny little people you still are." He sighed. "I don't need a phone. If my master calls, I could hear him if I were at the other end of this world."

Utterly confused, Merlin and Gaius looked at each other. He shook his head and asked; "Now, would you be as kind as to get back into my examination room so we could finish?" Mister Kilgharrah bowed his head obedient, smiled and followed Gaius.

Merlin breathed heavily, still pale. He felt like he was losing it. His hands trembled and his heart went crazy. An unknown rush of energy flowed through his veins and made his hands tingle. As if something wanted to get out. As if he needed to release it. But he couldn't. He didn't know what and how.

He took his bag, told Gwen he would be back later that day and ran home.

He had to be alone was all he could think about.

At home, he locked his doors, closed the curtains in his bedroom and dived under his duvet. He felt feverish, chattered his teeth.

He slept for an hour, it felt like a day.

When he woke up he went to his study and searched through his books. Nothing. He called Elyan and without explaining he asked if he could borrow his series of Merlin. Which of course was alright. Laying on his couch he watched 5 episodes of season one. He loved a good series and there were some fine actors in it. The slight resemblance of the characters was a bit disturbing but he was more intrigued now with all the names in the story. A lot of the people around him had names, corresponding to the time of Prince Arthur. And Kilgharrah was a true dragon?

He shivered from all the implications.

He couldn't cope with it at the moment.

It just was too much. Was he losing it? Who could he run to for help?

I wish my dad was still alive, he thought.

He heard a cough behind him. He startled and found himself looking at his father.

It couldn't be, he was dead long ago. And yet he was standing in the kitchen, faintly smiling. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face, his father still was there.

He walked to him. "Father?"

"Son", Balinor said.

It was wonderful and touching to hear his voice. To meet again.

"I am sorry if I have startled you, but I thought it was about time."

Merlin touched him, but nothing was there, his hand went through thin air.

"You can only see me. For the rest, I am still dead."

Merlin shook his head. "So, I am talking to ghosts now?"

He brushed his hair with both hands in confusion. He was overwhelmed by a new stream of energy, itching right under his skin like never before. It flowed almost uncontrollable.

"I have been here for a while, but you didn't really need me."

"And now I do?"

"Yes. You do."

He fell on his couch again. Balinor shifted, now leaning to the mantelpiece.

"Listen to me closely", he said. "I don't know how long you can see me. But don't worry, I'll be back again soon. Although time is different from here. What I need to tell you is this; You are Arthur's only hope. It is your destiny to help and protect him."

Merlin chuckled. "Yeah, sure. Like in the series? _Two sides of the same coin_?"

Balinor nodded. "Exactly! Look around you. All the people of Camelot are here in or around Ealdor Manor. You have lived many lives. And now it is time for you to remember what happened fifteen hundred years ago."

Merlin waved his hands and looked at his feet. He shook his head.

"Get lost. I don't have to take this shit from you. I am sorry, ghost-of-a-father, I don't buy it. Now please go away."

When he looked up, the image of his father was gone. He sighed in relief.

This was getting all too weird.

By the end of the afternoon, he walked back to the manor. His clothes crumpled his hair a mess. His skin was paler than ever. When he left the building with Arthur and Morgana, Iseldir, one of his other patients, dressed in a dark cloak, came up to them. He saluted Merlin, saying, "Master."

He then bowed to Morgana and said; Lady Morgana.

She held her breath.

He fell on his knees in front of Arthur and said; "My King."

And left them, still bowing. Arthur's mouth opened just a little bit and his eyes widened.

Merlin shook it off, jaws clenched and started walking if nothing happened.

"Wait. What?"

Merlin looked back at her and smiled reassuringly. "It's nothing, he is just mental." Morgana silenced for the rest of the walk.

Absentminded and kind of detached he put Arthur in the herd. Morgana bit her fingernails. Gwaine didn't know what to think about the two of them, distracted as they both were.

Arthur welcomed the mare with an open hand. He stepped next to her, put both his hand on her back, bent the knee of his left leg and stuck out his foot behind him.

Gwaine was the only one to react. He jumped and ran to him. With one gentle move, he helped Arthur lift his body so he could climb on the horse.

He sat as if he had done this his whole life.

The corners of his mouth just moved a little bit, he had a little colour on his cheek and his eyes definitely showed some emotion.

Only then, Merlin and Morgana realised they had missed an important moment.

They suddenly saw Arthur sitting upright but relaxed on the back of the mare and Gwaine walking back to the fence.

Without taking his eyes off of Arthur, Merlin asked Morgana; "Did you drive horses as a child?"

"We did. He did. A lot. Every Sunday morning, mother and he had long rides in the forest. And during holidays, at the beach. I was a beautiful sight, the two of them on the horses."

By the sound of her voice, Merlin considered it to be a happy memory.

"Arthur changed being around horses. More relaxed, confident. Mother always said he could talk to horses. Of course, dad thought that was rubbish."

She smiled widely at the sight of Arthur on the mare.

"I believe this is the first time after mother died he is back on a horse again."

The mare waited. Her head up. Arthur moved his legs just a little and made a soft clicking noise.

It was the first sound he made in years.

Gently the mare started walking. Arthur's body moved along, naturally.

They all were in awe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horses do mirror us, our feelings, our behaviour. One can learn a lot by observing, not interpreting, the behaviour of both man and horse.


	3. You don't believe it, even if you see it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things keep changing. Strange things happen. How long will it take for them to believe what they see?

Hell had no fury.

Morgause raised above him. Her eyes beamed fire. She looked as if she was about to start a fight. Her not-so-blond-anymore-curls waving around her head.

Merlin found himself checking if he saw any weapon on her and startled at that thought. He remained his professional calm and tried not to think of Morgause as the historical opponent of Arthur. Meanwhile, he knew everything there was to know about the Arthurian time, it's facts as well as the myths and legends.

He had to admit he even cried at the last episode of Merlin.

"I am appalled you let the Pendragons in here. It blemishes your Manor. You should do something about it."

"That's not your decision", he stated too calmly.

"If you let him stay, I have to kill him."

Merlin's mouth fell open. "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me. I will kill him whenever I have the change, as long as you don't release him."

Merlin laughed, only because of the absurdity of having this conversation."I hope you are aware, you are threatening one of my patients. So I have to inform the police?"

She shrugged. "They mean nothing to me."

"When anything happens to Arthur I will know where to find you." He wasn't aware he had raised, his finger pointing to Morgause and shouting.

Anger raged through his body. Arthur is mine, he thought, don't you touch him.

"May, may", she said, "isn't it adorable how you protect your little pet." She spat on the floor and paraded out of his office.

Merlin briefly consulted Freya over the phone, who suggested they would do extra surveillance around the manor, just for intimidation. After that, he organised a lunch meeting with most of the staff, explaining the situation. Perceval suggested taking night shifts with two instead of one. Cenred would love to work more than only the days both Perceval and Will had their day off. In addition, Gaius and Merlin would take night shifts on the turn.

Hunith cleared her throat and said: "I had a bad feeling at Morgause from the beginning. The way she looked at us, it gave me shivers. I know it's against the rules, but ever since then, I carried a heavy sedation injection on me. Ready to use if she comes anywhere near Arthur."

Merlin felt proud of his mom, although it was against regulations. He didn't care."We will not inform the patients nor their families", Merlin ended, "if people have any questions, please refer them to Gwen."

Late morning, when he entered his apartment, Hunith was not in. Arthur was standing in front of the window. One hand stroke the Lavender. The scent was all over the room. With the other hand, he was weightlifting a lightweight, he got from Elyan. Every now and then he made the clicking sound and smiled faintly as if he was still surprised by the sound of it and liked listening to himself.

As if he just discovered his vocal cords.

His eyes widened when he saw Merlin and he immediately locked eyes, his head bowed a little to his right shoulder. Merlin was impressed by the improvements. He said "Wow!" and smiled at him. Arthur kept moving and looking into his eyes. At some point, he slowly said to Merlin; "Ww..oo..w", carefully pronouncing every letter. Was it possible, the shock, whatever it was, made him forget how to speak, made him forget words? Would they have to start teaching him language, all over again? And what exactly made him decide to get out of his stupor now after all these years?

When Hunith came in with fresh laundry and bread from the bakery, Arthur moved his head to her and said: "Wow!" Hunith smiled surprised and said; "Wow indeed to you, my dear boy."

"He is improving", his mother said when the both of them walked out of Arthur's apartment. "Not by day, but by the hour." Merlin nodded. "Somehow a little shutter opened. Don't you think?" His mother agreed. "I'll watch him carefully. It could be exhausting when everything comes back to him at this pace." Merlin nodded. "Be sure to tell me immediately when he is getting headaches."

They met Morgana at the entry, in her grey Armani suit with Gucci sunglasses and silver stilettoes. "I am too tired to change, do you mind?" Nobody cared of course. They told her of Morgause. She was pretty indifferent about it. "I carried a gun since I was eighteen. In case they tried to kidnap the daughter of Mister-filthy-rich-Pendragon."

Hunith glanced respectfully at her. "Then we are both prepared, my dear."

Gwen invited them at the terrace and the four of them enjoyed Merlin's strong and sweet coffee, together with a cigarillo. Hunith smiled like a child when she looked at the heavy smoke around her. "I gave up smoking long ago, but every now and then I can't resist my son's cigarillo's." They all agreed. Gwen smiled; "I don't think Healthcare would approve if they saw us here, but hey, who cares?" Morgana replied, "You live only once, don't you?" Merlin chuckled.

"Now that's debatable since I saw BBC's Merlin." They all laughed.

"I wanted to see you also to talk about Arthur", Merlin started. Morgana took off her sunglasses and raised her eyebrows. "Something the matter?" Merlin nodded. "Yes, he is improving so fast, even I am a little worried."

"Oh really? What are you talking about?"

Merlin waved his hands and said; "He discovered his vocal cords. It started yesterday with his first clicking sound as you know. And now he is imitating single words he hears. This morning I saw him brushing the Lavender with one hand and weightlifting with his other." Morgana beamed at him. "Wow", she said. Hunith and Merlin laughed. "That's exactly what Arthur says now all the time." Morgana leaned forward and asked: "And why is it worrying you?"

"The pace. After years of shut down, a shutter must have opened. It looks like his brain has started to work again. His mind is slowly connecting with his outer world. It could be to fast for his body. We carefully monitor him. He shouldn't be alone now. And please warn me immediately if he gets a headache."

Morgana put her hand on Merlins. "I feel so happy. I am so grateful to you, it's amazing what you do."

"Thank you, Morgana", he bowed. "But, as we all know, it is just a start. We might be heading for a difficult time with him when he realises where he is and when some other memories come back. Therefore we should all stick together, carefully observe him. I am so glad you are here to support him, Morgana. You are the closest he can relate to."

It was way past midnight when Perceval called him. "You better come, Merlin. Arthur is in pain."

He ran out of bed, put on a trouser and grabbed a shirt and ran barefoot to the Manor. He texted Gaius to meet him in Arthur's apartment. He found him sitting in his shorts only at the side of his bed. It was a stunning sight. Merlin had to shake his head to concentrate on the need of his patient instead of his gorgeous body. He kneeled in front of him and grabbed his wrists. "Arthur?" He looked at him with reddened eyes. A tear leaking out of his eye. "Hurt", he moaned, "hurt!". "Head or heart?" Arthur squinted. He put Merlin's hands on his head. "So it is your head. I was afraid of it."

Gaius entered, his hair tangled. He examined Arthur and prescribed a combination of fish oil, a pain killer and a natural tranquillizer. "Do you agree?" Gaius asked.

"Yes, by all means."

He left to fetch the medication.

"Tomorrow I'll ask Elyan to run your Bars. It might do wonders to your head now." After Gaius gave him his medication, Merlin gently tucked him in and sat by his side. "I'll be here for the rest of the night. just in case." They all knew better than to disagree with him. So, he stayed. Arthur locked eyes with him till the medication kicked in and he fell asleep.

Merlin put his feet on the bed and made himself as comfortable as possible. He didn't sleep though. He just couldn't stop watching Arthur for the rest of the night till the sun came up, wondering whether it was love or not he felt for this man. Why did he meet him and why now? All the changes around him, were they intertwined somehow? Could it be, this gorgeous man, with his now open mouth, dribbling just a little, was the catalyst? Of what exactly? What was that pumping pulse he felt whenever he touched him?

In the early morning, Perceval brought him his coffee before his shift ended.

He didn't hear Morgana come in before she gently touched his shoulder. He startled and jumped in his seat. His coffee mug fell.

Before it hit the floor it stopped, somehow.

Morgana's eyes widened in surprise. She walked around the cup, hanging in midair and walked to the other side of Merlin.

"How is he?" Her eyes still on the cup, as Merlin did too.

"He had a headache so we gave him some medication and he slept on it for the rest of the night. I hope he is well when he awakes."

They both couldn't take their eyes off of that coffee cup, hanging above the floor, with a gulp of the black fluid just out of it.

Finally, Morgana said, pointing at the cup; "What happened?"

Merlin shook his head, his eyes still stuck on the miracle in front of his eyes. "I dunno. I wanted to catch it before it hit the ground and well, er, it never did, did it?" He put his hand underneath it and thought; now you can fall. The cup went down and Merlin caught it. It was still warm. What made the cup stop or did something, someone, freeze time, if that was even possible?

Could it be possible, he did it himself?

When he finally drank his coffee, still puzzled, Arthur woke. He groaned and opened his eyes. He faintly smiled seeing Merlin. He turned his head and looked at Morgana. He closed his eyes, frowned and then said; "Morgs."

She was touched and hugged him. "You remember my pet name, Artie?" He looked at her lips, said; "Artie?" After a while he said, pointing at himself: "Artie!"

This is how parents must feel when their baby child said it's first words.

From there, things went fast.

By the end of the day, he made small sentences, he learned how to smile and felt his face every time he smiled. He could look for hours at his image in the mirror and look at himself, making grimaces or sticking his tongue out, making sounds and watching his own movements. His voice was slowly going from hoarse and whispering to his original beautiful tenor.

The next morning, Merlin and Arthur were quietly talking, one or two words at the time. Arthur was relaxed, the medication had done its work. He still frequently locked eyes with Merlin, looked only away if he had to think about something. Merlin never looked away, he knew Arthur was rebuilding his basic trust with this.

He was asking Arthur about his horse-driving, when all of a sudden, Uther burst in, unannounced. Gwen followed immediately and raised her hands in excuse to Merlin. Arthur shut down immediately at the sight of his father, completely.

"So," Uther started, without even looking at his son, "I hear you did perform a miracle?"

Merlin raised, angry as hell. "Out", he shouted, "get the hell out of here. How dare you." Uther's mouth fell open, he glanced at Arthur, while Merlin shoved him out, just like that. Gwen sighed and followed Uther outside while closing the door behind her.

Arthur sat in his chair, pale, back in his old stupor, looking at nothing. "No", Merlin shouted, while Gaius entered with a worried look on his face. "No, Arthur, stay with me, don't do this to me."

He even mildly slapped his face.

Slowly Arthur locked eyes with him. "Thank you", Merlin said. They sat for a while. Gaius patiently put a hand on Merlin's shoulders. Then, suddenly, Arthur leaned forward, raised his hand and touched Merlin's cheek.

"You", he said, softly caressing his face, "you. _Mer_ lin."

Merlin and Gaius held their breath. In a whirlwind, Morgana ran into the apartment. "What did he do?" She fell on her knees, next to Arthur. He leaned back, smiled at his sister and said: "Morgs." "Thank god", she said, "I was afraid he had left us again."

Gaius nodded. "So were we, dear, so were we."

Merlin texted Gwaine if he could use the herd for Arthur. He texted back he didn't see any patient for the rest of the day and would be glad to help.

Merlin asked Arthur if he would come with them to the horses. He blinked, smiled and raised. It took quite a while before they arrived. Arthur walked slowly, relaxed and reacted to everything he saw or heard. Being like a child who discovered a flower for the first time, who heard the sound of the blackbird for the first time in his life.

When they entered the farm he walked straight to the herd. The mare galloped to him whinnying and greeted him. Gwaine and Merlin were with him, Morgana followed barefoot in the grass. Gwaine put a soft deck on the back of the mare and helped Arthur on the horse. Merlin put his hand on Arthur's knee, ignoring the sudden rush of blood in his head. "Arthur, I want you to turn around on the horse."

He frowned.

He seemed to have trouble processing that information.

Finally, he looked behind him and nodded slowly. They helped him till he sat safely backwards. Arthur looked at Merlin, still puzzled.

"Very good, Arthur. Now lay down, bent over, your head on the back of your mare." He raised his eyebrows but started to lean forward. They waited till he was comfortably laying, his limps slowly relaxing.

Gwaine took over at his side of the horse. He talked to him in his low voice, talking him into a deeply relaxing state of mind, where nothing mattered, everything just was.

Morgana was watching them with growing interest, she sat with her back to the fence, within hearing distance. A young black stallion had walked in her direction and laid himself down next to hear. She caressed his head and he yawned several times.

Merlin now talked to Arthur.

"It is your birthday and you are in a room with your mother. Tell me what you see."

Arthur shivered all over his body. The mere snorted loudly. "Mom", Arthur said; "Mom, er, toy." He stopped talking, his eyes still closed.

"You are doing fine, Arthur, just go on. What do you see?"

After a long silence, the mere bowed her head and Arthur said; "Her hand, blue, blue. Er, birds, no, blue."

Gwaine said: "That's good Arthur, you see the hands of your mother and something blue."

Then Arthur said; "Love it, blue flies, her hands, magic."

Merlin startled.

Gwaine raised his eyebrows. "Something beautiful, blue, flies from her hand. That's good."

"Butterflies", Arthur shouted suddenly, "butterflies, blue, magic,"

Merlin nodded. "That's good Arthur, you see blue butterflies flying from her hands and it feels like magic. What else do you see?"

Arthur started to breathe heavily. "No, no, Mom. Don't do it. It is magic."

Merlin looked closely and saw tears on his cheek. Slowly the mare started to walk, her head down.

Then he sobbed and shouted without pause; "Mother didn't want to die. Mother didn't want to die."

Morgana lost it and sobbed into the head of the stallion.

Merlin and Gwaine exchanged looks and nodded to each other.

"That's okay, Arthur, your mother didn't want to die. Now, Arthur, were are you?"

Arthur stopped his mantra. The mare stopped walking. "Hush", Arthur whispered, "silence. I am behind the couch, no one can see me."

Merlin whispered his response; "That's fine Arthur, no one can see you and we won't tell anyone. What do you see from behind the couch?"

Muffled sounds came from the back of the horse. Tears, sweat and snot and saliva, the body got all the shit out of him. "Dad. Chokes. Mother", Arthur spit the words out. A deep groan and a vibrating sigh followed.

Merlin swallowed hard. "Your dad chokes your mother", he said, "till she is dead."

Arthur nodded, as far as that was possible laying on the back of a horse. And then he started crying, desperately, heartbreaking."

Merlin went closer to him and put his left hand firmly on his back, right between his shoulder blades. "It's okay. You're brave. You are doing so well. Now cry. I am here. You are not alone now. I am with you. You finally told us your secret. It's okay. I am here with you. You are not alone anymore."

He went on, till the crying stopped and the heavy breathing slowly went back to normal. "No one can see you, behind that couch. Now, tell me, if you could, what would you like to change about the situation?" After a long silence Arthur said, hoarse; "I want to save Mom, I am Superman."

"You wanted to save your Mom. You wished you were Superman."

Arthur nodded sobbing.

Gwaine took over. "It's fine Arthur, you have no more secrets. I'm here with you. You are not to blame for your Mother's death. You are a fine lad. Your mother would have been proud of you."

Everything silenced for a long time.

Now, whenever you are ready, leave that room and get back to here and now. Whenever you are ready. Come back to us, the horse, Merlin, Morgana and me, Gwaine. Take your time. It is safe to leave that room. We know what you saw and that is okay. Take your time and come back to today, a sunny Wednesday at Ealdor State."

It took a long time.

Finally a last deep breath. The mare lifted her head and whinnied. Slowly Arthur raised. His eyes reddened and his face was a mess. Sweating all over his body. Merlin put his hand on his knee, they locked eyes. Arthur shook his head, his eyes still watery, as were Merlins.

He put his hand on Merlins and hoarsely he said; "Thank you. Thank you so much." He easily let himself slide from the horse. He walked to the mares head and put his face in her head. "Thank you", she whinnied again, snorted, caressed his head with her lips and ran away.

He opened his arms and Morgana ran into them. "I'm sorry", they both said over and over again.

Merlin and Gwaine left them alone and walked to the Manor in silence, every now and then, smiling to each other.

It was always a leap of faith.

Leon came running towards them. Panting he said; "You've got to see this. It's so weird."

The head gardener being upset was something new to both Merlin and Gwaine. So they followed him to one of the bigger borders, with high shrubs and all colours of Holly Hocks and Sunflowers.

"Yes", Merlin said, "nice, beautiful colours, but?"

Leon exclaimed; "Look", and he put some bushes aside.

"Yes", Merlin said again with some impatience in his voice, "what?"

Leon got angry; "Are you blind? The statue!"

Merlin nodded; "Yes, dear Leon, the statue", then he shook his head, his eyes widened. "What the fuck...."

Gwaine raised his hands and said: "I give up, I am lost."

Merlin stepped into the border and walked around the statue. Not only was it shining. looking brand new, it also had been changed. The weathering, meaningless statue of an unknown man had changed into the huge shape of a dragon. Every detail so real, Merlin expected it to roar any moment.

Leon squinted. "So you don't know about it either?"

Merlin shook his head. "No, not at all. Who could have put it here?"

Leon shrugged. "I was weeding close by. There, er, was a lot of noise, in this border and a lot of movement. Suddenly this statue was here."

Merlin and Gwaine looked at the man in disbelief. "Okay", Merlin said. He trusted Leon with his life, the man had never lied to him. "So, it is a miracle?"

Leon clenched his fists. "Damn. I knew you wouldn't believe me." Merlin put a hand on his shoulder. "You have to admit, you hardly believe it yourself. Maybe there is a logical explanation for it, or someone pulled a prank on us?" Leon calmed down already. "Sorry, but I am pretty confused right now. I don't know what to think of it."

Gwaine came out of the bushes. He said: "The pedestal is still the old one. They didn't move that. And the statue is still weathered but seamless at the origin." Merlin ruined his hair with one hand and said; "Let's not drop to conclusions. I'll, er, let's think about it. Talk to you in the morning Leon."

Gwaine offered to inspect the other statues with Leon and Merlin walked back to the Manor alone, distracted and biting his underlip. He walked straight to Gaius. "We need to talk, now."

He raised his eyebrows. "If you say so." He didn't object knowing the expression on Merlin's face.

"Good, meet you in a couple of minutes at my office."

He asked Morgana to take care of Arthur for the night and invited Hunith and Gwen to meet him. He bumped into Lance and told him to come too.

He went to Arthur, who sat chatting with Morgana on his balcony. Arthur smiled and opened his arms for a hug. The transformation was still going on. Without introduction, he asked him to think about his childhood. What he did, what he played with, who his friends were. All and everything. "And please tell me about it."

He left them a little confused and went to his office. Gwen was already organising the seats on the terrace. Gaius and Lance filled the firepit. They knew Merlin, this could take some time if he was in this mood. Hunith busied herself with coffee, other drinks and food.

Merlin rode his big whiteboard outside, opened a new box of cigarillo's and waited till they all were seated.

His lips squeezed. His eyes were darker than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The deeply relaxing state, used with Arthur on a horse is one step before true hypnosis, part of a technique to help patients with PTSD.  
> It is my experience, from the field, fish oil cannot only be a healthy supplement, but it also can diminish pain in the brain, in the head.  
> Running your Bars is a dynamic health technique in which one gently push 32 points on one's head in a certain pattern.


	4. Revelations of a mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin can no longer walk away from the changes around them and inside of him.  
> He can't but surrender, can he?  
> In the end, they are all in it together, even Arthur.

**Revelations of a mother**

They were looking expectantly to Merlin when he started. "Please stay with me till the end", he said, walking around, waving his hands. "I need you to sort things out with me. Changes are happening and I can no longer close my eyes for it, but I'd like to understand what is happening to me, to us. Cause I think we are all involved."

He turned around and wrote down some names.

"As soon as Arthur arrived, something happened to me, inside something stirred. His arrival evoked something. I have no words to describe it. It flows like energy, sometimes it rages through my veins, almost shouting to be released.

Morgana has, er, disturbing dreams and they are all about the near future.

The next name was; Uther. "I am pretty certain he killed his wife and Arthur witnessed it."

They all were shocked.

"Historically Morgause is the enemy of King Arthur and this week, she threatened to kill Arthur.

Kilgharrah just had a major transformation in behaviour as well as in his body. Gaius examined him and his muscles had grown from virtually nothing to those of a bodybuilder in maybe two days. And, just today, a huge brand new statue of a dragon, _appeared_ in one of our borders.

Whenever Iseldir meets Arthur, he falls on his knees and calls him his King."

He once more turned around to the board and pointed to the last name; Balinor.

Hunith startled.

"Balinor, my late father, is contacting me from the other side, appearing as a ghost and telling me; I am destined to help Arthur."

He waited.

They all were in awe, frowned, shook their heads and didn't quite knew how to cope with what Merlin just told them.

"Now, you tell me, am I going crazy?"

Hunith bit her lip, just like Merlin always did when feeling troubled.

Gaius had quietly observed him and asked: "You think this is all connected, don't you?"

Merlin squinted. "You tell me."

Gaius raised and walked to Merlin. "I don't have an opinion yet. As always, I want to be open to all possibilities. I trust you and your miraculous gut feeling. One thing I know for sure is, the names of all our friends, colleagues and even some of our patients, relate to the names from the Arthurian times. But what does it mean?"

The sun went down behind the forest. The long shadows brought a chill with them. Lance lit the wood. Gwen handed out blankets. Merlin pulled his third cigarillo in a short time. Gaius fetched some bottles and glasses and poured them all some wine. Hunith got them the delivered sandwiches.

Then she pulled Merlin close to her.

"Please, sit down", she said, her voice an octave lower, her cheeks wet.

Merlin locked eyes with her and they all fell silent.

She gulped her wine and slowly lit a cigarillo, clearly gathering strength or courage.

"I've met your father too, recently."

Merlin didn't blink. Only his mouth became a thin line in his paling face, his jaws were clenched.

She cleared her throat.

"I feel he haunted me the last days."

They all held their breath. From a distance, the blackbird sang.

"He was angry with me. I made him a promise but I betrayed him and now I feel I betrayed you."

She looked at Merlin. holding back her tears.

Merlin touched her arm, reassuring, but with a weary expression on his face.

"Shouldn't we leave the two of you alone?" Gaius softly interfered.

She shook her head.

Merlin squinted and kept his eyes wandering over his mother's face. With a broken voice, he said: "You can never betray me." She looked at her son with so much love and pain in her eyes, only a mother could. Taking his hand in hers, she went on.

"Your father was special. Such a gifted, talented man. The two of you are so much alike, on the inside. He died on his lifelong mission in fighting evil. That last time his", she hesitated, "aid, came too late to rescue him.

She sniffed.

"His aid?"

She nodded to Merlin.

"Your father was a Dragonlord."

Merlin snorted. "Yeah right. And I am a fairy queen." Nobody laughed. By the expression on his mother's face he could see, she was deadly serious.

"You must be kidding, right?"

"I've never been more serious, Merlin. I would never lie to you."

"But. I mean. A dragon? Oh, wait, you're about to tell me his name was Kilgharrah?"

She nodded. "It was."

Gaius sighed. Gwen came to Merlin and put her hands on his shoulder. "Why don't you hear your mother out?

"You?"

Gwen blushed. "Yes. Me. There is too much changing around us to keep ignoring it. You are the one who is always saying 'What if?' So for once, what if you would shut up and listen?"

Merlin's mouth hung open, a confused expression on his face. Then he bowed his head and said; "Sorry, you are absolutely right, of course. I think maybe I am afraid of what is coming."

"That's totally understandable. I should have told you long ago, so you would have been prepared. But do hear me out now, please?"

Merlin pushed his seat close to hers and took her in his arms. He kissed her on her hair and said: "Go on, tell me all. I'll listen."

"Being a dragonlord, Balinor could summon Kilgharrah at any moment, at any place and he would appear instantly. But at that time, black magic was holding him back and Balinor was dead by the time the dragon appeared. He was too late."

She let out a vibrating sigh.

"When a dragonlord dies, he passes his legacy on to his son."

It dawned on Merlin. Slowly.

"Is there anything more I might have inherited?"

Hunith smiled. "There is. Your father and I come from a family of magicians."

Merlin shook his head in disbelief.

"Our childhood wasn't easy. We were often bullied or neglected because we were different. I wanted you to have a normal childhood. And I promised Balinor I would tell you when you were grown up. But the time was never right and everything seemed normal. Until now. When Arthur came in as a patient and you were telling about the energy you felt flowing when he was around, I knew I was too late.

You have magic, Merlin, you are a powerful magician and you are destined to save and protect Arthur."

It was all too much to take in. Lance held Gwen, both looking pensive. Gaius stared at Merlin as if he saw him for the first time. Hunith sobbed, but merely from the relief of her burden.

The windmills of his mind made over time.

He looked at the fire. With one thought and one little move of his hand, he distinguished the flames. With another commanding thought, without knowing what exactly he was doing, the fire was blazing high again. He could reign the elements with one thought. It was frightening him.

They all stared at him now, whether it was out of fear or respect.

The itching, tantalizing energy he felt flowing, the last weeks, must have been his magic wanting to be released. Now that he acknowledged it, it was happy tinkling, like goosebumps.

He threw his glass in the air, his eyes changed into gold and the glass stopped falling, hanging in midair. He could change the world.

And then he remembered. The gates opened.

Releasing and using his powers, was causing an infinite stream of memories. It was overwhelming. Ages of knowledge and events came back to him. He trembled and started sweating. Hunith and Gaius got him when he collapsed, though he stayed conscious.

His body ached. His head hurt.

Gaius supported his body. Hunith took his face in her hands and said: "You have to endure this." His vision was blurred. It took a while before he could focus his eyes again.

Gwen got him his favourite coffee. He zipped it eagerly, with chattering teeth.

Stuttering he asked Gaius to get him some of his potions. "Potions?" Gaius asked. At first, Merlin didn't understand.

Was he the only one who remembered?

Hunith told Gaius the ingredients. He took notes with raising eyebrows but immediately phoned Leon to meet him in the garden with a flashlight and left to make them.

Hunith sat on her knees in front of Merlin. He could see her face now without too much effort. And although his ears still buzzed, he heard what she said.

"Your magic should serve you, not the other way around. You have to contain it, master it, command it. It will listen to you,"

He tried really hard to understand her words. After a while, he asked; "How?"

"Like you control your thoughts, your will. Like, er, you are the boss and then it will obey you."

He thought about that. His magic was his to use. He focussed on the new energy flowing through his veins. His voice sounded unfamiliar, even to himself when he raised and roared; "Listen!"

Lance and Gwen startled. His mother slowly nodded.

The earth rumbled. The noise in his head, the buzzing in his ears, the waves in his body, even the disturbing images in his head, it all stopped or at least reduced. What remained was a headache. He felt his magic containing itself in the source, a central place in his body. Waiting for him to be released. In there, he felt he was connected to the earth like never before. He could expand the universe.

Parceval entered for his night shift. He was going to say something, but stopped and look around, confused. "Are you guys alright?" Lance filled him in, as far as that was possible in a few sentences. "You're serious?" He asked with his hand for his mouth. "I, er, just came in and one of the nurses told me Kilgharrah is gone. Was he released today?"

Gwen's eyes widened. "Merlin, do you think, is it possible, did he really, I mean, like you and. What if?" Lance put his arms around her; "You're babbling." She leaned with her head on his shoulders and grinned. "I'm sorry. I am."

Merlin confirmed her thoughts and said; "He's gone, Perceval, he released himself at the moment I, er, I found out who I was." He squinted and said; "Right. I think." He turned around to tend to his duties when he said: "Congrats on the new statue. Wonderful resemblance. It's really good."

Merlin looked puzzled. "What statue?"

"The one at the entrance of the parc, you can't miss it."

"Mine is at the wild pond, between the reed", Hunith said, "but you have to be in the water to see her face."

It wasn't funny but Merlin started to giggle and then he roared with laughter. Tears came down his cheeks. It was all too much, too weird, he couldn't but laugh it all out. It was contagious and they found themselves all smiling.

"Should I go back and find a potion for a laugh attack?"Gaius asked when he returned with some small bottles.

He had a blush on his face and his hands were dirty but his eyes were shining. "Good gracious, this is a very fine recipe your mother gave me. Now I know again why I loved making medicine myself so much. There are so many ideas in my head all of a sudden, don't know where they came from."

In between giggles, Merlin said; "You have ages of experience, my dear old friend."

Gaius closed one eye and pierced Merlins with the other. "Right. I'm afraid I'm beginning to understand what you mean", he said, "anyway, I think it is time for your medicine."

He swallowed it down in one gulp. It was horrible, but soon after he drank it, he felt the pain in his head subside. Also, the mist of the last weeks was gone, he had no other words for it.

They all went back to sit at the fire, Merlin had lit again. Blankets and hot tea with brandy. They quietly spoke about it all. It was late but who could sleep after this? Parceval joined them, Gwaine and Leon came in. When they were zipping, staring in the flames and reflecting on the events of the evening, there was a small knock on the door.

Morgana came in with a trembling Arthur. They wanted to leave immediately again, but Merlin invited them over, close to him at the fire. They grabbed some seats and gave them some tea.

"I am sorry to disturb your evening, but I think Arthur needs your help." Merlin patted her on her back and said: "It's fine, don't worry. I'll talk to him." Her watery eyes looked grateful into his. She went sitting next to Gwaine, who comforted her.

He took Arthur's hand. "Hay my friend. What's the matter?" Arthur still trembled and looked around to all the faces looking at him. "It's okay. They're all family and friends. You better get used to it, because they will be your family and friends too." Arthur stopped trembling and got a confused expression on his face.

"Now tell me, what is bothering you?"

When Merlin took his hand, he felt his magic tingling, but in a reassuring way. Besides, he also felt old pain and grief, although he didn't know if it was his, or maybe, theirs?

He had to swallow hard to cope with it.

A tear escaped his eye.

Arthur looked at him and carefully, with such a gentle, caring touch, he wiped away the tear of Merlin's cheek.

One by one the others left. Gaius pinched him in his shoulder and said: "I'll be in my office if you need me."

He asked his mother to stay and the four of them sat by the fire in the light of the full moon.

"Are you sad too?" Arthur asked unexpectedly.

Merlin nodded, surprised by his empathy. "Yes, in a way."

Arthur locked eyes with him and said: "I remember.

Being a child.

I knew I was Arthur.

My mother believed me.

My father did not.

She gave me a sword.

He broke it."

He bowed his head.

Another trauma, in the less possible words.

"I am not crazy. I am Arthur. You are Merlin."

Merlin's phone rang. "Just a moment, Arthur", he said, "Gaius?" His uncle said: "At the entrance of the estate, there a now two statues. One is you...."

Merlin sighed and finished his sentence; "...the other one is Arthur. Thanks, and good night Gaius."

He hung up and said; "You are Arthur indeed. I am Merlin. I know, now."

Arthur lifted his head bemused. Then he smiled relieved. The trembling stopped. The colour came back on his cheeks.

"So, I am not mental. I am not alone anymore."

"No, you're definitely not. We both come a long way. I don't know how and why, but it seems we are destined to meet and help each other." As we might have done for ages."

Arthur nodded and put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Good, that's good, friend."

Morgana poured them some wine. "So, basically, you, we, are reincarnated?"

"That's one way of looking at it. I don't know exactly how it all worked and I don't know if I will ever understand. But, it seems we are all connected through the ages, through history. It is somehow destined to be like this. According to the legends, Arthur would come back when Albion, that is England, needed him the most. So, somehow, something is happening and Arthur and I are needed."

Morgana frowned and said; "That's what I keep seeing in my dreams. They're no longer nightmares though. The dreams are, somewhat kinder to me, I think."

"I'm glad for you", Merlin said. "Could you tell us what you see?"

She looked pensive. "It's hard to tell. There are no wars with swords. Nothing like that. But you are definitely together fighting something in society. And always the same faces are threatening you. It's dangerous and yet we are all in it together.

"I am sure it will unfold itself in the near future", Merlin stated. Yawning he said; "If you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

They all raised. Arthurs said he was fine and went alone to his apartment, confident and calm as never before. Morgana took Merlin's arm and said; "I don't want to be alone tonight..."

Merlin hushed her and said; "Grab some things and meet me outside. I have the feeling, someone is waiting for you." He smiled. Her eyes widened, her face was blushing and she left for her apartment.

He walked outside in the chill of the night. Gwaine was sitting on the stairs with an empty bottle of wine. A faint scent of grass hanging around him. They smiled at each other. "Will you be as kind as to keep Morgana company tonight?" Gwaine grinned. "I was hoping you would ask to do you that favour."

Under the fading light of the setting full moon, he walked over the lawn in the direction of his home. As soon as he had enough distance to the manor, he stopped and looked at the fading moon, the bright shining stars. He inhaled a heavy scent of summer flowers, soil and rain, somewhere far away. He raised his arms aside and with one commanding thought, he lifted himself and floated in midair. Being weightless in the air was utmost relaxing and he drifted for several minutes.

When he was back at his feet he summoned Kilgharrah, who appeared almost immediately with a rattle of his wings.

The dragon bowed his head and Merlin looked him in one eye.

"My dear young warlock. Finally!"

Merlin leaned into his head. He recognised his scent, the leathery skin, the soft spot on his nose. He just wanted to meet him again, to be sure he was right. To feel their bond.

Kilgharrah understood. He climbed at his back and together they flew into the night till dawn.

On the terrace, Gwaine and Morgana viewed the spectacle in a close embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur did not come back from the dead (sorry, non-canon) but he lived many lives, as they all did, unknowing.


	5. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunith went inside and came back with some very old whiskey, glasses and water. 
> 
> It took each of them one glass and one more cigarillo before Hunith was the first to answer. 
> 
> "I would love to know, in the end", she sipped her whiskey and sighed, her voice a whisper, "my life had a meaning. To know, I did matter. That I made a difference."

The sun was already rising when his head finally met his pillow.

He slept till noon, waking only because of a lack of caffeine and nicotine, not to mention a rumbling stomach. With his eyes almost closed he brew the strongest coffee in the biggest mug he could find and walked outside, dressed only in his trousers.

The boys and Morgana were chatting and eating in the sun on the terrace. Elyan immediately served him fried eggs with bacon on freshly baked bread. "I heard your coffee machine wake up and I figured you might be hungry." He thanked him for his caring attention and comfortably seated himself into the group.

He needed the company of his people now. The chatter, the laughs, the banter. More than ever he now enjoyed the 'normal' things, like brunching with friends on his terrace on a lazy Saturday. His cat snatching pieces of bacon from his plate. Gwaine's dog being totally in love with Morgana, just like his boss. It was his anchor to cope with what might lay ahead for him.

When Morgana and Gwaine went inside to 'catch up with some sleep' and Elyan went to see Gwen, Merlin walked to his mother's cosy little house in Ealdor. Now that Arthur didn't need her twenty-four hours a day, she was happily back home for the time being.

He loved the walk through fields of summer flowers and butterflies. Bees were humming, birds singing. He felt his magic slowly getting in balance with the earth.

As soon as he entered the village, a man approached him. "Can I walk with you for a while?"

He was smaller than Merlin and looked older. Dark tangled hair and a silvery-white short beard. A man of forty, he thought, with the eyes of a child though. "Sure", Merlin said, "but why?"

The man chuckled shyly. "Sorry to bother you. Er, I am your writer, pleased to meet you."

Merlin beamed. "How nice. I always wanted to meet you."

His writer shrugged. "Really? Oh, er, well, here I am."

They walked a while in silence.

"What brings you here?" Merlin asked.

He scratched his head and said; "I'm stuck. So, this is where I think the story ends. I wanted to tell you personally."

Merlin looked shocked. "No way", he said. "You can't bring back our memories one moment and then quit the next. What are we supposed to do now?"

"I dunno", his writer said. "Kill Uther, fall in love with Arthur, save the world, whatever?"

"How should I do that? You wrote what I am, who I am. You made up my thoughts and decisions. How am I supposed, all of a sudden, to live my life, while you have always done that?"

His writer looked scared. "How did you do it before I 'wrote' you?"

Merlin frowned. "I didn't. You are the one who brought us to live. There is no before or after. Only the story, as long as you write it." He shook his head. "You might as well kill us all." He took the arm of his writer and went on: "You can't leave us alone. You really can't. We would be lost."

"But isn't it pathetic to live the life I wanted you to live?"

"You tell me. Seems to me you kind of need us to live yours?"

It all went a bit snappy from thereon. Until they both didn't know what to say anymore.

Then suddenly his writer stopped, grabbed Merlin's arm and said: "How about now? I am not writing at the moment, ain't I? And yet, we're having this conversation."

"Scary", Merlin said.

"Shocking", his writer frowned.

Then they both smiled and shouted; "Sorcery!"

"Come", Merlin grabbed his writer's arm, "I want you to meet my mother."

They ran to Hunith's cosy little house at the border of the village. It had layers of redwood at the outside and a large white veranda all around. She was sitting on it in her rocking chair.

She raised and hugged her son. "I was just thinking about you, honey. By the way, you look exhausted. Now, who is your friend?"

He introduced his writer to Hunith.

She put both her hands to her head. "Oh may, our writer? Are you serious?" She blushed for joy. "That's close....like, er, meeting...God, I think?"

Their writer stared at the ground.

"Come on you two, I'll make you something to eat. Writers do eat, don't they? Merlin, get the two of you some chairs." She went inside. Merlin got them some chairs and they peacefully sat next to each other, looking out over the tiny village and meadows.

Hunith came back with a tray loaded with cold lemonade, cheese and crackers and strawberries with clotted cream. They were all nibbling and sipping when Hunith asked: "Could you tell us, where our story is heading or won't you give away the plot?"

Their writer wiped some cream from his lips, frowned, looked at Merlin and said; "Well, I am not exactly sure. That's partly why I am here. I mean, yes I wanted to meet you and at the same time, er, I don't know, it's pretty complicated and I think I er..."

"He's stuck", Merlin summarized.

"I see", Hunith said. She looked at her writer and said; "I thank you for my part in this wonderful story. It's a good story, you know. It is our story. That's quite an accomplishment. I mean, it feels like our lives. So thank you for that." She bowed her head to her writer, who blushed a little and bowed too.

"Thank you for your compliment. It means a lot to me, coming from you."

She handed him another serving of strawberries, drowned in clotted cream.

"And since it is a good story, I wouldn't worry, if I were you. It will write itself."

Their writer's strawberries hung a while in midair. He chewed on her words instead. Then he smiled, relaxed and leaned somewhat more carefree back in his seat.

Merlin offered his writer one of his cigarillos, which he eagerly accepted and asked while handing him a light, "Will you kill one of us?"

His writer choked almost in his first inhale of smoke.

After some coughing, he blinked at Hunith and said; "How would I know? The story will write itself, now won't it?"

Merlin grinned.

"But, since this is a rare occasion, a writer meeting his story friends, I would ask you both a question. Take your time and be careful with your answer."

They both smiled and leaned forward.

"What would you love, personally, to happen in our story, in your life?"

They both looked pensive. Hunith swung in her chair, embracing herself. Merlin was staring into the blue, biting his underlip.

A light summer breeze started, bringing scents of freshly mown grass, the heavy perfume of Baby's Breath growing up the roof. Small birds were chirping and picking from the peanut butter cups hanging from the veranda.

Hunith went inside and came back with some very old whiskey, glasses and water.

It took each of them one glass and one more cigarillo before Hunith was the first to answer.

"I would love to know, in the end", she sipped her whiskey and sighed, her voice a whisper, "my life had a meaning. To know, I did matter. That I made a difference."

Her writer just nodded.

Merlin cleared his throat. He leaned back and peered into the distance.

"That's a wonderful thing you said, Mom. To me, however, you already made the difference, by letting me know, I did matter, from my first steps."

Hunith looked at her dreamy, staring son with watery eyes.

He raised and walked off the veranda, head in his neck.

He made a shrill and at the same time commanding sound and held his arm up. A thick leathery sleeve appeared around it.

With loud and slow wing-beats a buzzard landed on his arm.

Merlin talked to him.

The bird answered with short bows of its head and little mewing sounds. It was a scrawny bird, almost too skinny for summer. The bird tilted his head and brought his beak close to Merlin's face.

His eyes glowed gold. His fingers, with sparkling pieces of light, gently touched the eyes of the bird, who seemed to shiver for a moment. The bird was almost blind and was depending on his eyes for hunting his food.

Healed he shrieked, shook his head and took off with majestic movements of his wings, flying in circles, higher and higher.

_Call me and my brothers whenever you need us._

"I love you too", he whispered.

He walked back to the veranda and leaned at the fence with his arms.

"I want to be connected to the poles. To the moon and the centre of the earth. I want to be held by the soil, the wind and the sea. I want to be the fire within all the elements. I want to be the balance in the universe and I know I can as soon as I allow my magic to release its full power.

But", he brushed his hair with his hands and sighed, "what I want most of all, in the end, is to have someone who inherits my magic and my dragonlords-ship."

He bowed his head.

His writer held his breath when his words sank in.

Then he nodded very slowly and twinkled.

A meaningful silence followed.

At last, their writer raised. He hugged Hunith long and thanked her. He stepped off the veranda. Merlin walked him to the street and hugged him long and firm.

"Where will you be going?"

"To where I came from", his writer simply said and vanished, even out of their memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you need good advice, meet your characters.


	6. Missing people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you remember best of those times?" 
> 
> He tilted his head, locked eyes again with Merlin, squinted and smiled his typical smile. It gave Merlin the shivers from the joy of remembering. 
> 
> "What I remember best", his voice hoarse with emotion, "is our friendship."

The next morning Merlin wandered through the estate park and inspected the statues. At the entry now stood two eye-catching statues of him and Arthur, looking at each other at opposite sites of the main driveway. Close to one of the little bowers was a new statue, he didn't recognise.

Leon pointed him to the brand new statue of Gaius, looking out over the herb garden. Merlin realised suddenly, every new statue represented one who just got his or her memory back. Gaius too, huh? He thought.

Gwen hugged him when he arrived at the Manor and gave him his favourite coffee. So far, it looked like it would be a normal week, despite all that happened.

After his coffee, he went to see Arthur.

He was reading a newspaper and having breakfast with Morgana at his balcony. "Have you read this?" He pointed to an article about the closing down of psychiatric hospitals this year, because of a lack of new patients.

"Hm", Merlin said, "did someone find a cure?"

Arthur shook his head. "Not really. They refer to the recent changes in healthcare, more suicides and the raising of the number of missing persons."

Morgana and Arthur glanced at each other.

"Our little stepbrother is missing, for almost two months now." Merlin put a hand on their shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." Morgana said with weary eyes; "He was studying in New York. One day, Uther visited him and was shocked he had turned into a gothic. I knew and I didn't care, but Uther was mad at him. Then, he came home alone, telling us Mordred was missing."

She sobbed. Arthur looked angry.

The name 'Mordred', brought an avalanche of disturbing, confusing memories to Merlin.

"According to the Airline, Mordred was on the flight to London", Arthur said, "that's what is bothering me the most. But Uther said he flew home alone and the police are looking for him in NY."

Morgana raised, she shook her head and said; "I leave you two. I have to report to Uther today", she rolled with her eyes, "I'll be back tonight." Arthur hugged her and said; "Be careful. Are you going alone?" She grinned; "No, no, no, don't worry, I have company." And flushing she left them.

They both grinned. "I think it's Gwaine's first day off in ages", Merlin said. "Why don't the two of us go horse riding today? We have a lot to talk about. I have no appointments today and the paperwork will wait another week." Arthur beamed at him. "Yes, oh please, let's do."

He hesitated, "like in the old days."

They locked eyes. Merlin sighed and nodded, a smile on his face, full of sudden melancholy.

Within the hour they walked to Gwaine's practice, with Merlin's old saddlebags, blankets, food and lots of other stuff Merlin thought they might need. Gwen was glad for them and packed some fresh fruit to take with them. She would give word to the others.

The grey mare acted like she was really happy to see Arthur again and willingly stood still so they could saddle her. The shy black stallion came to Merlin and he saddled him. They wandered quietly through the wide horse trails next to each other, finding their paces, following the rhythm of the animals. They enjoyed their company in the scent of the forest, the filtered light through the summer green leaves, the singing of the different birds, the breathing of the horses.

When the trail narrowed, Merlin led them through the hills in a trot. When the sun started burning they stopped at the river and led the horses in the water to drink and cool down. Then they unsaddled them and set them free to graze. Arthur took the blankets and Merlin brought the food and they settled in the shadow of a group of oak trees on the riverbank. They sat close, opposite each other, leaning into the oaks. The food, bread with ham and scones with jam, placed in between them, on one of the blankets. They sipped from small bottles of juice. And, of course, there was a thermos with strong coffee.

After munching, Merlin poured them both a mug of coffee and lit a cigarillo. They locked eyes. Arthur started talking about their time, ages ago, in Camelot. They shared happy memories of their journeys, their adventures. But also the danger, the killings, the grief.

"Strange to have forgotten all those memories and now it's all back", Arthur said, looking out over the river.

"What do you remember best of those times?"

He tilted his head, locked eyes again with Merlin, squinted and smiled his typical smile. It gave Merlin the shivers from the joy of remembering.

"What I remember best", his voice hoarse with emotion, "is our friendship."

Merlin held his breath. He was not prepared for such an answer.

"At that time, I valued it too little. I only realised when it was too late. When I was dying. Can you imagine? I remember dying, which is the strangest thing ever to remember. And", he swallowed, looked away, "you held me."

Merlin found his breath again and after a long and meaningful silence, he whispered: "The grief of that moment. You are here with me, alive and still, I can feel that grief. Failed to protect you. Losing you, of all people. My destiny not fulfilled." Arthur shook his head and asked; "Your destiny? I don't remember that part." "Something to do with my magic, the Sidh, Kilgharrah. We're supposed to be two sides of the same coin. It was my destiny to protect you, but I couldn't."

He stared at his hands, tears dripping in his palms.

Arthur raised and fell on his knees before him. He grabbed his hands and said: "You did nothing wrong, my friend. I trusted you with all my life and I would do that again. What could you possibly have done to save me?"

With watery eyes, he looked at that beautiful face, drowned himself for a moment in those unworldly blue eyes and said: "I should have killed some people when I had the chance."

"Who?"

"Morgana and Mordred."

Arthur let go of his hands, gasped and fell back. He put his face in his hands and exclaimed; "But that is all my fault! I trusted them. Morgana", he stopped, frowned, "the Morgana at that time, betrayed me, as did Mordred. You warned me. I didn't listen, stubborn royal prat I was."

Merlin grinned. "That's my line, you clot pole."

They both smiled.

"What if I, we, get a second chance", Merlin said. "What if we're all together, slowly regaining our memories back, just to do it all over again?" Arthur nodded; "As you said, I would return when I was needed most. But it will be different, won't it? We do not have swords anymore. I am not King." Merlin nodded. "It will be very different and I have no idea how."

His phone buzzed. Since it was Gwen he took it. He said; "Yes", he looked at Arthur and said again; "Yes. See you." He put his phone back and squinted. "Your father is here and demands to see you."

Arthur startled.

Merlin's magic pulsed, like it wanted to warn him. "I have a bad feeling about it and er, although I don't like it I have to urgently ask you to come with me and act like the adult Uther expects you to be. Don't ask me why." Arthur locked eyes with him and after a while, he nodded with a sad expression in his eyes. "I trust you, Merlin. I don't like it but I'll do anything you ask."

In silence, they saddled their horses and galloped back to the Manor. They met an angry Uther in Merlin's office. His anger left him immediately, thanks to Arthur. With his tanned face, the visible weight loss, his tangled golden hair and his dazzling smile he could have melted a glacier.

"Hello, father. How nice of you to visit me. I hope you are well?" He hugged him in a manly way with as much distance between them as possible. Uther's mouth fell down. He stuttered astonished by the change. "My son", he finally exclaimed, "are you cured?" Arthur nodded shortly. "I am definitely better, but we still have a long way to go. Doctor Emrys and his staff performed miracles."

Merlin knew Arthur's smile didn't reach his eyes but Uther wouldn't notice.

Uther thanked him and Gwen and asked Merlin when he could take Arthur home. Merlin faked a professional expression and said: "That's hard to tell Mister Pendragon. Your son is still suffering from daily relapses. I need to be absolutely sure this change is permanent before I can release him."

Uther agreed. "Of course. I understand. Do everything you have to do. Keep me posted, will you?" He hugged his son once more and left without another word.

"Whew! That was easier than I expected." Merlin put his hand on Arthur's shoulder, who trembled.

"I was as fake as my father", he said. "I hated myself." Merlin pulled him in a hug and said; "I know. I will never ask you to do this again. But somehow, my gut, my magic is telling me this was needed to save your life." Arthur said: "I trust you, Merlin."

A pale-looking Gwen asked: "Is Uther a thread?" Merlin shrugged and looked from Gwen to Arthur and said: "Somehow, yes, I'm afraid so. We'll have to find out and be very careful about it." Arthur nodded and responded: "I'll help you. But first I want to make a start in finding Mordred if that 's okay with you?" Merlin nodded. "Yes, that's good. I'll help you."

They walked the horses back to the farm where they met Morgana and Gwaine, taking care of the horses. They clearly didn't know about Uther's visit but Arthur decided to tell them later. "Ah, my two favourite horsemen", she smiled, while Gwaine pouted. "It's good that you are here. I'm taking you for dinner, tonight." Arthur grinned. "And, no Merlin, she will not take no for an answer."

They drove in Morgana's four by four to the Ealdor Inn, the only hotel in the village with a nice restaurant part. Merlin asked to be dropped at the police station and would meet them later.

He had texted Freya and after a chat with some of the offices at the entree, he walked straight into her office. Freya hugged him, then took his arms and looked at him. "You look both exhausted and energetic."

"You look stunning as ever", Merlin replied.

She waved at the compliment and made both of them a coffee. They sat at her couch and Frey said; "Now before we go on, please do seduce me with one of your cigarillo's." He smilingly did and giving her a light he said; "Are more people missing, compared to, let's say, a year ago?"

She snapped; "Why?"

Merlin nodded. "So, that's a yes!"

"Darn shrink", she replied.

"Just this week, Elena has asked me to investigate the wider area of Ealdor and she has sent me reports from London about the shockingly increasing numbers over there. But what is your concern? And why now?"

Her eyes pierced in his.

"Mordred Pendragon is on one of those lists?"

She squinted. "I didn't know Arthur had a brother. Is he missing?"

Merlin tilted his head and bit on his underlip. "According to his father, he went missing in New York. The airline says he was on the plane to London. So you tell me."

She took the bait. Professional and personal intrigued as she always was with Merlin's cases. They did have quite a few in the past. "There is more to it this time, Merlin. I can feel it." She leaned back and waited.

He breathed out a perfectly formed smokey dragon. With an almost unnoticed wave of his hand, it got shining colours and landed on Freya's shoulder. She was astounded and startled when the dragon shrieked and flew away.

When she recovered, he said: "I come from a family of magicians and my father was a Dragonlord. That's the short version. Through ages and history, Arthur and I are connected, as are you and I. Another time I'll tell you more if you want. For now, I need you to urgently look for Mordred. Please?"

She frowned, looked away. She looked back. Opened her mouth, shut it again. Waved her hands. Finally, she said, leaning forward, "I have always known, you and I have a special bond. But ages? I also trust you with my life, you know that. So I will immediately look into it with all the forces I have and more."

Merlin raised and thanked her. "I'll be in the Ealdor's Inn tonight if you need me." She laid her hand on his shoulder and walked him to the door. "I'll let you know as soon as I have news for you. And, Merlin, be careful."

"You too!" He waved and walked to the Ealdor Inn. His friends were sitting on the terrace, in the shadow of the lime trees. They were discussing all the things that happened lately. Merlin ordered a mountain tea to start with. Morgana joined him and the boys happily ordered another beer.

Morgana asked; "What on earth were you doing at the police station?" He locked eyes with Arthur and said; "We decided to investigate what possible thread Uther might be and Arthur thought it best to start with looking for Mordred."

Morgana bowed her head and put both her hands on the arms of her brother and Merlin. "Thank you for that."

"I have some lifelong friends within the police force and they are looking into it, right now. And as it happens to be, they are already investigating the sudden rise in people missing. So, I think we did the right thing."

They talked awhile about the changes and in the meantime they ordered their food. On Merlin's advice, they all took the steak, of local cows, together with a summer salad and fries. Morgana ordered a bottle of the local red wine and they enjoyed the food in the summer evening.

When they were having coffee and after diners, a car, driving fast, loudly disturbed the quiet evening. Merlin saw both Freya and Elena jump out of it. He raised and waved for them. They entered the terrace with a serious expression on their face. Merlin introduced them to his friends. Almost unnoticed, Freya made a reverence when she was introduced to Arthur and, by the expression on her face, she was surprised her self by it.

They just wanted a coffee and as soon as their drinks arrived, Merlin waved his hands as he made a bubble around their table so no one would listen in.

They all leaned in on the table.

"What have you found?"

Freya looked at Merlin and said; "Is it okay to tell what we've found?"

Merlin nodded. "I know Gwaine since I was a child, as do you. Morgana and Arthur are siblings of Mordred. I have put a spell on us, so no one can hear us."

"I see", Freya said. She hesitated and then said; "No one is looking for Mordred. Not in New York and not in London. He is on no list of missing people. Nowhere. According to customs, he even entered London on the same day as Uther's arrival."

Elaine took over. "MI5 is now trying to trace him, but they warned you not to set your hopes on them." She looked at them, then she locked eyes with Freya, who nodded just a little and Elaine went on; "MI5 was rather suspicious as soon as I mentioned the name of Pendragon. He is on some of their lists."

"What does that mean?" Arthur asked it calmly, but Merlin saw his jaws tighten.

"We don't know exactly, yet", Frey replied, but when you are on more than one of their lists, you might form a possible threat to the country."

"Uther?" Morgana laughed, "By what? Selling houses?"

The faces of both Freya and Elaine were expressionless at this moment.

"You know more then you can say now", Merlin stated, "and that's okay. Thank you for your fast follow up. Where can we start to look for Mordred?"

Frey took Merlin's arm; "Please, stay out of it, it's far too dangerous."

"Yeah, right!" They both said it aloud at the same time and Merlin and Arthur looked way too satisfied with themselves.

"I told you so", Freya said to Elaine with a faint smile.

Elaine sighed and said; "Give us a day, we do need a green light from our contact with MI5."

His magic stirred just for a moment. "Cenred?" He whispered to Elaine who almost fainted hearing that name. But she nodded.

Freia raised and said before saying goodbye; "Please, be careful. For these are dangerous times. Stick together, be alert. And call us anytime." She handed out cards with her number, as did Elaine.

They left them taken a bit aback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Security Service, also known as MI5 (Military Intelligence, Section 5),[3] is the United Kingdom's domestic counter-intelligence and security agency and is part of its intelligence machinery alongside the Secret Intelligence Service (MI6), Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) and Defence Intelligence (DI). MI5 is directed by the Joint Intelligence Committee (JIC), and the service is bound by the Security Service Act 1989. The service is directed to protect British parliamentary democracy and economic interests and counter-terrorism and espionage within the UK.  
> Within the civil service community the service is colloquially known as Box 500 (after its official wartime address of PO Box 500; its current address is PO Box 3255, London SW1P 1AE).[4]
> 
> The service has had a national headquarters at Thames House on Millbank in London since 1995, drawing together personnel from a number of locations into a single HQ facility: Thames House also houses the Joint Terrorism Analysis Centre, a subordinate organisation to the Security Service; prior to March 2013, Thames House additionally housed the Northern Ireland Office (NIO). The service has offices across the United Kingdom including an HQ in Northern Ireland.[5]


	7. Silver linings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although more and more information indicates dark clouds are coming in, for now, friendship and love is the silver lining.

Merlin was humming and tapping with his fingers. Thinking way ahead of his friends. In his head it all was clear. The implications of what he found out, the deduction and conclusions, his brain doing overtime. Which effected in a raging bloodthirstiness he remembered from earlier days. So he calmed himself and listened to his friends who were still stuck in anger and disbelief.

"What're we gonna do?"

Merlin smiled, as he expected Arthur would ask for action. "We're gonna wait till we hear more tomorrow, hopefully."

"You must be kidding." He put his fist in his mouth.

"What do you want to do? Run to Uther and kill him?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

Merlin nodded. "Yes, I would like that. Immediately."

"But?"

"As Freya and Elaine said, it is too dangerous. We know nothing. All we can do is wait for more information. In the meantime, I will try to find ways to trace Mordred."

They all agreed with him, despite their anger.

"For now, I want you, Gwaine, to take care of Morgana, 24 hours a day." Gwaine agreed, without his usual smile.

"I will take care of Arthur."

Arthur's eyes widened. "24 hours a day? Could be interesting."

He grinned at first and then, with Morgana smiling and winking at him, he blushed a little.

"I don't care", Merlin stated, "I 'm not gonna lose you, again."

On their way home, they drove to the Manor, so Morgana and Arthur could pick up some clothes and stuff. When he entered with them, to inform Will briefly for his nightshift he spotted a police car around the corner. The lights just flashed a moment and Merlin waved to them. It was getting serious now with a 24 hours surveillance. Well, he thought, better safe than sorry.

He was alert, more than ever. Knowing dangerous times could be near. Despite that, he was lighthearted, with clearness in his mind, accepting fate, or destiny, or whatever you would call it.

Arriving in his house with Arthur was a different thing though.

He kept showing Arthur around, who silently followed his babbling friend until they arrived in the kitchen.

For the third time.

"Now, tell me, one more time, how does your coffee machine function again?"

Merlin was about to start explaining when he noticed the lights in Arthur's eyes and the corners of his lips trembling.

He punched him on his arm. "I'm jabbering ain't I?"

"You are. And it's perfectly fine with me. I'm nervous too."

They locked eyes.

Merlin poured them a brandy, lit a cigarillo and walked outside.

They sipped their drinks and watched the stars, the flight of the bats. Enjoyed the heavy scent of the Persian silk tree, elbow to elbow. No words were needed in this ultimate intimacy.

Finally, Merlin took Arthur's hand and walked him to his bedroom. It smelled of vanilla, the soap Gaius always made for him.

Arthur remembered. It was the way his linen in Camelot scented.

The bed was freshly made with clean black satin sheets and a light summer duvet. They started to undress. When their shirts were off, Merlin walked to Arthur.

"I'm going to be straight with you", he started. He chuckled when Arthur raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Well, not that straight."

He touched Arthur's breast in a slow caress. Arthur held his breath and shivered.

"I'm gonna make love to you, right here and right now. As I will do to you till the end of times."

Arthur's eyes widened. He gripped Merlin's arm and said; "You _love_ me? Me?"

"I do. For ages."

Arthur shook his head and hugged Merlin so hard it almost hurt.

"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it."

"You better do, dearest."

He pulled his head and put his lips on Arthur's. Slowly and tender they met, wet and warm. His magic left him partly on his own accord. Carefully it wrapped itself around them in a golden blend of light.

When they parted, Arthur locked eyes with him and touched his own lips with his fingers, tasting it. He put his hand around Merlin's neck and kissed him again, also tender but with more eagerness. Their tongues touched and played in their mouths.

When they let go, they both dropped their clothes and found each other again on the smooth and cooling sheets. Their bodies whacked down, aroused. Their dicks upright and dripping from pre-cum.

They kissed hungrily and caressed more, exploring their bodies. The magic pulsing with them from gold to dark red.

While kissing, Merlin took both their cocks in his hand and started to stroke them till they both came in heavy hot heaves on their bellies. Breathing heavy, after the release, they lied still, their foreheads touched, their eyes closed, feeling the warmth of each others breath.

Merlin was the one who got out of bed to clean the mess. After that, Arthur invited him back in bed and they spooned. Their bodies fit perfectly, Merlin thought, as if they were made for each other.

Well, in a way, they were.

Slowly, golden dust fell on them.

Next morning Merlin awoke relaxed. For the first time, his magic felt complete, at ease with itself, with him and he with his magic. His heart burst with love for Arthur. He sighed from contentment.

Arthur kissed his neck. "Hello, sleepyhead." He turned him around in his arms and kissed him on his sleepy eyes. "Morning gorgeous", Merlin whispered and crawled into his muscled warm body. "Hold me, please." Arthur did.

Till they finally parted to face the day, the world. They both showered, got dressed. When Merlin made their coffee, Arthur rumbled in his fridge and made them fried eggs with bacon.

It was still early morning when they ate, seated shoulder to shoulder at the ridge of the terrace, all peace and quiet.

The deer approached them without any fear or doubt. Her stag hidden in the bushes. She greeted Merlin and sniffled to Arthur's hand. Than she mewed softly and hesitantly her cub appeared from the bushes and shyly came to her.

Merlin caressed it and whispered to the trembling baby deer until it felt safe. Its mother carefree with her head on Arthur's knee.

He mumbled notes and tones and guttural sounds. "That's why I have missed you for a while. Thank you for showing your young to us. Tell your partner it is a safe land here and you are free to stay."

He raised and fetched some raw veggies from the fridge and filled an empty bottle with some soy milk. The deer ate out of Arthur's hand while he fed the baby. After some more caressing, the deer came up to Merlin and looked him in the eyes.

"Thank you for your hospitality. Not many people see us, as you do. But we see many people and we know when they are bad. We'll warn you. Take it as a gift to you."

Merlin bowed his head and gently put a kiss on both of their heads.

When they parted, his friends came out of Gwains kitchen, exclaiming. They had seen everything from the inside and were as touched as the two boys were. Arthur pulled him towards him and kissed him on his head. "You are amazing, my lovely warlock."

"Okay", Elyan said, observing the radiant love between Merlin and Arthur, "so that's settled. Things are moving fast." They all laughed. He greeted his former patient with a grip of his arm instead of shaking hands, to their own surprise.

Morgana and Gwaine would fill in Elayan over breakfast while Merlin and Arthur went to the Manor. Arthur wanted to pack things and move to Merlin's place, as Morgana would do later too.

"Now, tell me, Merlin. You were mumbling to the animals. Do you talk to them?"

Merlin didn't realise it sounded like mumbling. It felt natural to him to talk to any creature in their language. "I do. I always had a special connection with animals, but now may magic allows me to communicate with them."

"It will be magic, living with you", he said and kissed him.

"Do you have any material concerning Mordred?" Merlin asked him later. "Like pictures, or even film?"

"I guess so, I'll ask Morgana if I can use her laptop. Eventually, I want to buy my own. Maybe you can help me with that?"

"Sure, I'd love to help you with that."

Gwen was already waiting with their morning coffee on the terrace. When she spotted Arthur, she went inside again. The moment they stepped on the terrace she came out with a big smile and a coffee for Arthur.

She hugged them both warmly. "The two of you seem happy?"

They grinned and send each other that special smile only lovers do.

"We are", Arthur said, "Does it show?"

"Yes", Gwen smiled, "from miles away."

They filled her in, although she heard from Will about the extra safety.

After their coffee, Gwen said to Merlin; "You have two patients this morning. After that, Freya will stop by at noon. Shall I get lunch? For three?" She looked at Arthur.

"Yes, please do. Make it four. I would like you to be there too."

Gwen agreed and they all started with their own activities.

Freya was punctual, so they had lunch at noon, sitting on the terrace in front of Merlin's office. She started immediately. "Our contact with MI6 told us, what I expected. Uther is a suspect in several cold murder cases, including", she hesitated, looked at Arthur and said; "including your mother's.

Arthur nodded. It was no surprise to him. "If it is of any help", he said, "I was there at the time he killed her."

Frey looked shocked. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. And yes it will be of great help, even after all these years. You need a certificate of health though", she looked at Merlin, "since you were under psychiatrical treatment."

"I'll arrange it", Merlin stated. Gwen sent him a reminder for it from her laptop.

"At the moment, I can not tell you the other charges of murder, of course. But he is also on the list of high potential threats to the country."

"Which means?"

She squinted and replied to Merlin: "He has many contacts in the underworld. He is suspect in many fraud cases, all involving high amounts of money. We, or MI6, thinks he is blackmailing CEO's of the larger companies worldwide. On top of that, and that is top secret", she looked at all of them before continuing, "he has a way to much influence in the government. Not only in the UK, but in different countries. In fact, we think he is the initiator of secret laws, the people have no idea of."

"Like what?"

"Laws giving individual secretaries of state a lot of power, like in war-time, or during terroristic attacks. Only not temporarily, but for as long as they are in charge. What we see, what is difficult to prove, is the government is a marionette, played by Uther."

"I didn't know he was that powerful", Arthur said pensively.

"He is manipulative, a narcist who thinks he can rule the world, with no empathy at all for what victims he needs to reach his goals", Merlin said.

"That's exactly as one of the profilers told us", Freya said. "Maybe it is a good thing to get MI5 in contact with you, your sister and Merlin to get the information we need about him?"

"Absolutely", Arthur agreed, "but they have to come here."

"And in disguise, although I can take care of that part", Merlin said.

"Okay. Thank you". Frey finished her sandwich, gulped her coffee and left, saying; "I'll set up a meeting and let you know."

"One more thing", Arthur raised too, "you haven't mentioned a word about Mordred?"

Freya sighed and look wearily. "I intended not to mention him".

She bit her upper lip and went on; "There is no trace from Mordred. As is the case with many of the missing people lately. But", she held her breath for a while, "MI6 thinks, all those cases are possibly linked to your father."

Arthur gasped for breath and got a shader grey of pale.

"I think you already have enough reasons to kill him", she put her hand on his shoulder, "but please, leave it be. If you kill him, you'll never find your brother."

After lunch, they grouped around Morgana and her laptop to see if she had any images of Mordred. It all became a sort of memory lane, which gave Merlin a pretty good idea of Arthur's childhood. They finally found the most recent image of their brother, three months before he went missing.

A beautiful Gothic boy with the same dazzling eyes as Arthur.

They couldn't find any video or film, which Merlin had hoped to see.

He looked at the image of the young boy and said; "Do you have his voice somewhere?" Morgana nodded, "yes, as a matter of fact, I do." She took her smartphone and started to tab. "I kept his last voicemail, from Uther's visit when he told me how angry our father was."

"Send it to my phone. will you?"

She downloaded the voicemail and sent it to Merlin's, so he could listen to it later.

Later was only a few minutes later. When Morgana and Arthur went to move their things into Merlin's and Gwaine's house. He adapted the file on his laptop so it would play on and on and put it on his speakers.

Suddenly his office was filled with the clear voice of the young Mordred. First, he listened only to the sound of it.

He released his magic, just a bit, to help him. The quality of the sound enhanced stunningly. Suddenly it sounded as if the boy was standing next to him.

He thought it must be a very smart kid, wise for his ages, although his puberal issues. A voice with a bit of melancholy in it, probably missing his family. A voice that was hiding his fear for his father's fury but also showing unexpected bravery in it.

Merlin closed his eyes and asked his magic to connect with the person behind the voice. The visions he immediately got, were dark and blurry. After some time he saw a dim-lit space, all grey.

He saw a very skinny figure, laying in the corner on a dirty stone floor.

After he sort of zoomed-in, he saw the boy breathing. But, he had to know for sure it was Mordred. He waited, pulled out some more magic. The boy shivered and turned around on his back. The face was to pale to be true, to meagre too but it was definitely Mordred.

He sighed.

So, the boy was alive and by the looks of it, was kept prisoner, somehow, somewhere.

When he opened his eyes, Arthur stood in his office. Pale and silent, he listened to the voice of his brother. He stopped the recording and raised. He embraced him. Arthur fell into his arms and sobbed. "I'm sorry", Merlin said, "I didn't hear you enter." With watery eyes, Arthur pulled back and shook his head. "It's okay, I just wasn't prepared." They kissed some time, for comfort.

Parting, Arthur said; "Can you find him?"

Merlin turned around and studied his phone and paperwork. "I have seen him. He's alive. For now, that's all we know."

"Good", Arthur said, "that's good. He is alive!"

While talking to Arthur, Merlin texted Freya about his vision. She texted back, he should try to describe it when he would meet their profiler, scheduled next morning. He asked her to send him a specific list, in detail, of all the secret laws Uther had forced. She texted back, he would receive it within in the hour.

The speed of her information confirmed his presumption she was deeply connected to Cenred and she must be in MI6, somehow.

With only a few resident patients, he invited everybody to his place for an informal barbecue to celebrate summer. Morgana, Gwaine, Arthur and Elyan would take care of the food. His patients would be fine in the care of free-lancers for one night.

He walked to his house with Hunith and Gaius. They collected some herbs, for the barbeque, but Gaius also for his potions as he was joyfully making them again, as in the old days. Leaving the Kitchen garden, Leon joined them.

Merlin took his mother by her arm and said; "When we arrive I need you to help me put some spells on the house and the terrace, so no one, in no way, could listen in. Also, spells that warn us about evil."

She nodded. "I figured it wasn't only to celebrate summer but I will help you, of course." She pulled his arm closer and said; "Despite the possible dark clouds coming in, do I see a silver lining? You look so happy."

He grinned and punt an arm around her. "You notice everything, don't you? Yes, I am happy, no matter what may come. I guess I have to introduce you to your future son in law, Arthur Pendragon."

She flew in his arms for joy. Kissing him on his cheeks, exclaiming: "I couldn't be happier."

The terrace was an Italian photograph. Long tables, beautifully set. Flowers and candles, everywhere. Colourful blankets, ready to use. Two fires, ready to be lit, as well as torches, burning already, although the bright sunshine. Wines and water were on the tables, beers were on the ice, close to the table. Colourful cold starters and fresh bread were spread out over the perfect red linen.

They were all impressed, enjoyed the wine, admired the scenery with a high peak of blooming flowers. They walked around, greeted each other and slowly they all were seated.

Somehow Merlin was at the head of the table. He raised his glass. "First I want to make a toast to celebrate the summer." They all cheered. "Second I want to toast to the most gorgeous man in the universe I am in love with." They all cheered louder and oohed and aahed. Arthur blushed and smiled. "Third I need to tell you something before we can toast."

"Not too long, mate, the first lamb chops are on the bbq". Gwaine said.

"Only recently we found out that Uther, Arthur's and Morgana's father, might be responsible for the disappearance of their brother Mordred. He is already on many lists of MI6 and considered a big threat to our country."

They all frowned and mumbled softly to each other.

"It won't take long before Uther will know that we know. He is so powerful, worldwide, that he definitely will come after us. We should be frightened because he is a cold-blooded murderer."

They all fell silent now.

"Tomorrow, profilers of MI6 will be here to see whether we have more information about him, they could use. So, be on guard, be alert. Don't go anywhere alone. I have secured this place, together with Hunith. It's a safe place now, no one can listen in and we will be warned as soon as something evil arrives.

He let it sink in for a short time, took a sip of his cold white wine and went on: "There might come a time that we need to hide. Be prepared for that, for someday I might have to ask you all to stay in the Manor for a while. When we are all together in one place, mother and I can keep you safe with our magic. Now, the third toast is about closing ranks, sticking together and live life to the fullest."

He raised his glass. It took a moment, then they all raised and solemnly cheered to live their life to the fullest.

Gwaine put on some music and soon they were all back to cheerful eating and drinking.

Gaius came to him. "I admire your leadership, my friend. No one but you can bring such a message and then get everybody to cheer on it."

Merlin smiled. "I learned a lot from you. Through the ages."

"I know, I remember. When we stick together, we will survive, no matter what we have to face."

"I'm sure of it", Merlin replied. Arthur served them some lamb chops with some veggies and sauce. They ate in silence, savouring the taste and scents.

Every now and then, between bites, Merlin touched Arthur's lips shortly, their eyes locked, their knees touching under the tables, making promises for the night.

Gwaine turned up behind them and winked; "It's a good thing the walls in this house are thick, ain't it, huh?"

They ate, drank, talked and laughed. When the sun went down, they lit the fires and enjoyed the colours of the changing sky.

Closing ranks wasn't much trouble when you knew each other for ages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again, the story is writing itself. 
> 
> The Secret Intelligence Service (SIS), commonly known as MI6, is the foreign intelligence service of the government of the United Kingdom, tasked mainly with the covert overseas collection and analysis of human intelligence (HUMINT) in support of the UK's national security. SIS is a member of the country's intelligence community and its Chief is accountable to the country's Foreign Secretary.


	8. There is no stopping Merlin when he has a plan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin was stunned. The drawing was as accurate as could be. Exactly the way his vision had shown it to him. Even the desperate atmosphere showed. 
> 
> Arthur swallowed and got pale. 
> 
> "You didn't tell it was that bad", he groaned.
> 
> "You didn't ask", Merlin calmly replied, putting all the love he felt for him in his eyes when Arthur looked at him.

It was a dark chilly night. The moon was but a thin line. Clouds chased each other in black, grey and dark blue, driven by the sudden summer storm. All built up by the heat of the last days.

Thick raindrops started to fall as soon as Merlin left his house. He didn't care. He had to know. Right now.

After their barbeque, Merlin and Arthur had made love in the shower, just because they couldn't wait for any longer. Aroused as soon as their bodies touched under the hot water. Eager, hungry, horny, wet and slippery it all was. Pure lust.

Sleeping came easy on Merlin, embraced by the strong arms of Arthur, wrapped in his body.

In the middle of the night, he woke for the first time. He had a nightmare. About Mordred. Arthur held him so he fell asleep again soon, having the same dream over and over. And again. Every time he was about to talk to Mordred, he woke up.

He felt frustrated in a way he couldn't handle.

Despite his head feeling heavy from drinking, his body aching for sleep, he raised. Arthur was snoring, in deep sleep. He didn't want to disturb him. He left alone without making any noise.

In the pitch-black darkness, standing in the hurling wind and the splashing rain, his mighty voice summoned the dragon.

Kilgharrah didn't take longer than 2 seconds to obey.

Merlin found shelter from the rain under one of his wings.

 _Well, you could have picked a better time,_ the dragon stated.

"I need answers."

_You always do._

With a sound almost equal to the storm, he waved his enormous wings to get rid of the water. Then breathed warm air in Merlin's direction.

"Is Mordred Arthur's destiny?"

 _Well_ , the dragon snorted, _he was killed by him! Are you losing it already or might you be in love, my dear warlock?_

"I mean the Mordred who is missing. Where is he? Is it Arthur's destiny to save him? Can you show me where he is prisoned?"

_Make up your mind, Merlin Emrys. What is it you want to know?"_

Merlin sighed impatiently. "Tell me where they hold Mordred."

_Are you sure you have to know?_

The rain kept pouring.

_He is imprisoned down under the ground level. You hardly can probe him since there are many unknown buildings at that level._

"Thanks", Merlin said and raised.

 _Wait a moment, you young impatient one",_ Kilgharah roared. _It is not about Mordred, my friend, it is not at all. This is about a tiny new little law Uthter enforced very inconspicuous. This one is not even known at MI6, yet. Most members of the government aren't aware it exists."_

"Tell me."

_Everyone who is showing abnormal behaviour can be imprisoned immediately. It is a tiny sub of sub-law no one knows about. But Uther is using it and defining 'normal' into a whole new level. If you don't behave and think like Uther, you're gone._

Merlin rubbed his face in disbelief.

 _And, young warlock_ , he sounded angry, _beware_.

_It is your destiny to protect Arthur who, I have no doubt, will try to save Mordred. But, one life? Is it worth the risk?"_

He took off with no further goodbye. He was done, he answered.

The same old thing, Merlin thought. Is saving one man worth the risk? He always had answered that one with a capital YES. It had brought him trouble, dangerous encounters, pain. It caused deaths.

But it was the reason he could still live with himself.

He would always choose to rescue a friend, a relative, one human, one creature in need. Always. Even against all odds.

He walked back, suddenly cold, soaked with rain as he was.

In the kitchen, he just dropped his wet clothes and hopped in the shower. Leaning to the wall he let the hot water soak him till the shivering stopped and the bathroom was nothing but steam. He dried himself quickly and slipped into bed.

Shivering he crawled back into Arthur's body who wrapped his arms around him with a sigh of relief. He had been wide awake the whole time, from the moment Merlin had left and he was just about to go and find him when he heard him coming back.

He woke before Merlin did and left him sleeping to shower and got dressed. He made him breakfast on the kitchen table. The rain had stopped, but it was still cloudy. Carefully he brewed his favourite coffee and brought it into the bedroom.

It took some effort to wake Merlin. When he finally sat, sipping his coffee. leaning into Arthur, he said; "I hope I didn't wake you last night?"

Arthur squinted. "You did."

"I had to see Kilgharrah."

"In the rain? Without me?"

Merlin's eyes widened. "I'm sorry, you were so sound asleep. I didn't want to wake you. Don't be mad at me."

Arthur smiled wearily and kissed him on his tangled hair.

"I won't be mad at you if you promise to never do it again. You see, I can't handle secrets from you."

Merlin bit his underlip and wrinkled his nose.

Arthur said; "I was scared to death."

Merlin locked eyes with him.

He whispered: "I would have been mad as hell if you walked away without telling me. I realise now."

They kissed till Merlin's phone buzzed. He took the call.

"Mr Emrys?"

"Yes", Merlin answered.

"We're supposed to call you before we leave."

It took a moment before Merlin realised one of the MI6 profilers was calling him.

"Ah, yes, Of course."

He talked briefly to both of them, gave them the direction to his house and said he would start cloaking immediately.

Merlin and Arthur were cleaning the kitchen table and making fresh coffee when a rugged pickup stopped close to his house. He saw two peasants in dirty clothes walk to the terrace and he went out to meet them.

"What the fuck have you done?" One of the men shouted. "I'll sew you if I don't get my car back. I'll sew you when I find even one little scratch on it." The other one just couldn't stop laughing.

Merlin couldn't help smile a little too.

As soon as the two men stepped on the terrace he changed them back to their usual selves. One was dressed in a spotless black suit, thirtyish, freshly shaven and top fit. Within two seconds he spotted his many weapons. The other one. older, with a grey ponytail, looked like a cowboy, complete with hat and boots. Merlin found no weapons on him, only loads of electronic gear.

The black suit introduced himself as John. "Sure", Merlin said, "nice to meet you, Bruce. I am Bond. James Bond."

"Who told you my real name?" Bruce snapped.

"I can see your name, as I can see the six weapons on you. Get used to it, I have magic."

Bruce silenced. One down, Merlin thought.

"Well, Merlin", the ponytail smiled, "mister-know-it-all. Tell me my name."

"Your name is as unimpressive as your hard-on at the moment, Dick."

His mouth fell open and he flushed.

With little bravado and less self-esteem, they followed Merlin into his kitchen. Arthur melted only a little ice away by his charming behaviour, inviting them to take a seat and serving coffee.

After some more courtesies, Bruce asked Arthur to tell them in his own words what happened on the day his mother died.

He did.

Detached.

Monotonously he described every tiny detail, from the colour of her dress to the sounds she made while Uther choked her.

Bruce asked him to tell it one more time.

And again.

When he asked him to tell it for the fourth time, Merlin said; "Enough. You have your story."

Bruce nodded. Ponytail Dick took over and rumbled with his gear. It didn't work.

"Don't bother, nothing will work in here. Besides, I don't remember permitting to tape anything."

Dick sighed. He took his bag and found a drawing book and a pencil.

"Is this okay?"

"Perfect", Merlin said.

He took Dick's face in his hands and let their foreheads touch.

"Now, close your eyes and relax. I'll show you what I saw. Maybe you can draw a picture of that."

The man's mouth fell open, but he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. For a short moment, Merlin's eyes flickered shining gold.

They all were silent a couple of minutes.

As soon as Merlin withdrew, Dick frantically started to draw, in full concentration, his tongue between his lips. The only sound was the scribbling of his pencil on the paper.

No one disturbed him, till he looked up, finally satisfied.

Merlin was stunned. The drawing was as accurate as could be. Exactly the way his vision had shown it to him. Even the desperate atmosphere showed.

Arthur swallowed and got pale.

"You didn't tell it was that bad", he groaned.

"You didn't ask", Merlin calmly replied, putting all the love he felt for him in his eyes when Arthur looked at him.

"Is it of any use?"

Dick nodded pensively, still staring at his drawing.

"I think it must be one of the bomb shelters they build during World War II or maybe later during the Cold War, for the royals and the government. No windows. Thick walls. Ventilation ducks."

He hesitated.

"But it is still a wild guess. Even if I'm right, I'll never find the location. This information is only known by the Prime Minister and the Queen. I'm sorry."

By the expression on his face, Arthur despaired. Merlin, on the contrary, looked satisfied and said: "It's all right. We knew it was a long shot."

He raised. "Now, gentlemen, let's not take more advantage of your precious time." He gestured to the door and almost shoved them out.

"Soon as you arrive at your location, you'll have your car back", he waved at them and jumped back into his kitchen.

He hummed and brew them a fresh coffee.

Arthur had his head in his arms on the table and raised it slowly when Merlin put his coffee down.

He rumbled; "Why on earth are you beaming?"

"It might take some preparation but you are going to have tea at Buckingham Palace." He smiled, all too happy with himself.

"Have you gone mad?"

"Not yet", he stated, "but you better start polishing your knowledge of protocol and etiquette, my dear royal prat."

Arthur smiled in disbelief. "Never a dull moment with you, isn't it?" But in his eyes was a tiny glance of hope.

The next days were as chaotic as could be.

Merlin had a plan and mobilized each and everyone into it. He was unstoppable.

By the end of the week, they had every detail in order. In between, he even saw his regular patients, the few that were left. He didn't sleep much, driven by determination, helped by adrenaline and caffeine.

Arthur Pendragon was now Duke of Ealdor, Morgana Le Fay had become Duchess of Avalon. At least for the time being. And this was only a fragment of the plan.

Merlin and a bit of his magic had convinced the Lord Chamberlain of Buckingham Palace, the urgent need to have tea with the queen. He got his invitation within two days, with written apologies of her majesty of losing contact. After all, they were family.

The family line had been the hardest part. It took him a long day. He had to bribe several officials, hack a lot of sites and of course, use some spells to get the Pendragons in the line of the Windsors.

They would dress formally but no evening dress. Gwen and Hunith performed miracles in embroidering the red and gold Pendragon coat of arms on Arthur's breast pocket and interlaced in Morgana's dress.

In the meantime, Arthur got his laptop and with the help of Will, he got the hack of it in a few hours. Will stayed around to answer every question with stunning patience, being the computer nerd he was. Soon Arthur knew everything there was to know about the queen and the royal household.

It was all hope and excitement and magic in and around Merlin's place. His drive, his enthusiasm and determination were contagious.

Nothing could stop them.

It was connected to hope, love, friendship and honour and involved far more than only having tea with England's monarch.


	9. More than an ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He woke Arthur who immediately jumped out of his bed, startled and protective, finding a man helplessly laying on the floor. 
> 
> "I told you to close the door", Arthur shouted, "he could have taken us apart with one blow."
> 
> Merlin sat against the bedboard, put his hands at the back of his head and yawned. 
> 
> "I took him apart with less than that, didn't I?"
> 
> Arthur looked from the man on the floor to Merlin, confused, bewildered.

They were safe and sound asleep till just before dawn Merlin woke.

By the pricking of his skin, he knew instantly; someone was in their bedroom.

He didn't discover any evil, but some stranger was watching them. Without changing his breath, without even a movement, he released just a tiny little bit of his magic and, to his surprise, met magic too.

Although he felt there was no immediate threat, he paralysed the figure with one move of his finger, just to be safe, just to teach him a lesson.

He woke Arthur who immediately jumped out of his bed, startled and protective, finding a man helplessly laying on the floor.

"I told you to close the door", Arthur shouted, "he could have taken us apart with one blow."

Merlin sat against the bedboard, put his hands at the back of his head and yawned.

"I took him apart with less than that, didn't I?"

Arthur looked from the man on the floor to Merlin, confused, bewildered.

"A stranger intruded our house", he pointed to Merlin, "and you act if nothing happened?"

"He is no stranger", Merlin gestured. He put the spell down. The man gasped for breath and got seated on his knees.

"Now please Arthur, welcome Cenred, head of the MI5 and former King of Essetir."

Both Arthur and Cenred startled.

"Cenred is not only in charge of MI5 he is also burdened lately by orders of Uther. Although he doesn't comply at the moment, now do you, dear Cenred?"

Arthur sat back on the side of the bed. Cenred got on his feet, coughed and answered; "I don't, you're right. And I am sorry gentlemen, but I couldn't afford to be seen in your company, so I had to sneak in."

"I understand", Merlin simply stated. He raised and walked out of the bedroom in only his shorts. He started his laptop at the kitchen table and woke his coffee machine. Both Arthur and Cenred followed him and sat down, opposite each other.

"Tell me, Cenred", he said, rumbling with coffee cups and milk, "you drink your coffee with soy milk, because of your lactose intolerance, with just a wafer of sugar?"

"He's good", Cenred said to Arthur.

Despite the hour and the situation, Arthur smiled at the man.

"I know."

With another question, Merlin let the man gasp for his breath for the third time "How come you have magic?"

He put steaming cups of coffee in front of them, lit a cigarillo and sat down next to Cenred.

"Somewhere in the line of heritage, there was magic in my family. Studies say the mother of King Cenred was secretively a druid. So, it's only minor things I can do."

"Like what?"

He hesitated, squinted and moved Merlin's cup without using his hands.

"It comes in handy when someone has a weapon and you are unarmed. Tricks like that. I can smell evil from miles away." He chuckled. "Or maybe that is professional deformation."

Arthur asked; "Is there a lot of evil in your organisation?"

Cenred nodded. "As every other mighty company attracts corruptible people."

"What else?"

He put one of his elbows on the table, sipped his coffee, stroke his beard and said; "When life thinks I need to, so, I cannot use it on purpose, I can hear the thoughts of opponents. That's about it."

"And you're here why?"

The man was gorgeous. He was not a powerful druid or magician, Merlin thought, observing him. He was definitely gay and sensibly aware of his own body. His body was muscled and he could kill people with his bare hands in seconds. He must have created a lot of enemies. His power was in his heart and in ruling MI5, limited only by the secretary of state.

And Uther.

And his conscience.

"One cannot simply leave MI5", he started.

"Would you?" Now he got Merlin's attention.

"Yes, I would. If I only could, today. But it is a lifetime commitment. You get killed in action or fired. Might as well be dead than."

He sighed. "In my job, you sometimes have to do things which weigh on your conscience. But lately, things are getting too much of a heavy burden."

"You mean, the law on putting people away for not being 'normal'?"

Cenred's eyes widened. "Wait. What? How on earth do you know about this?"

Merlin didn't answer. "Is it?"

He bowed his head and said; "Yes. It is. I can't live with it anymore. So, I'm going to help you and risking being killed or fired. I don't care."

"What made you think we need your help?"

He smiled. "I can provide you with the best weapons in the world, armed cars as well, And I can train you guys."

Arthur raised his head and beamed at Merlin.

"Why do you think we need them?", Merlin asked and kicked Arthur under the table.

He looked at both of them and said; "To have a better chance in freeing Mordred after your little visit to the Queen."

His smile was only a little bit arrogant.

"Damn", Merlin said angrily, "who else knows?"

"No one."

"But if you found out, who else might?" Arthur got a weary expression on his face.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you. It was a long shot, after listening to Freya and Elena. I only know just now and it's safe with me, even if you don't accept my help."

"He's good", Arthur said.

"I know." Merlin's eyes went restlessly from right to left and back. He could see this help fitting perfectly in his plan, but he needed to be absolutely sure.

"What happens if we rescue Mordred, without getting you killed and Uther finds out?"

Cenred squinted, looked at them both, bowed his head slowly and said; "If Uther still lives, then I am at your mercy."

That was all Merlin needed to hear.

The three of them shook hands. Arthur's eyes sparkled with joy. They decided to have breakfast together and discussed Merlin's plan over scrambled eggs and more coffee.

Cenred offered a wide range of vehicles and weapons. He also would love to train them in aiming and shooting. His cars would come with the newest stuff in both protection, communication and location.

They had five days before Q-day, as the boys called Merlin's plan. They would need every minute of them.

He texted them all and within the hour they arrived at Merlin's place and were introduced to Cenred and the adjustments of the plan.

From the first moment he spoke to the group, he was engaging. With his low, soft voice he enchanted them, in a good way.

They decided Arthur and Cenred would coordinate the training together and the weaponry details of Q-day. Merlin would still work on the details of the plan with everyone available.

With only Iseldir being more a resident instead of a patient, he had his hands free.

Starting immediately, Cenred trained every member of their team, at any moment they would at his home in between Ealdor and London. He had built a shooting range under his warehouse. It was abandoned for years when he bought it and he had carefully made it into a luxury home, without doing much at the outside. When he discovered the huge cellars underneath it he changed it into a firing place.

They all learned to shoot with different guns. Cenred knew instantly what weapon was best for whom. They also got some powerful stunners and small but deadly knives, in case all else failed. The blade thin as a paper sheet, fitting easily in their socks.

They also practised in Merlin's presence. To get used to the loud noises of his fireballs and the white light of his beams. How to aim while struggling with his waves of air pressure, shooting in the dark, in the mist, surrounded by smoke.

After days, and nights, with their determination and natural skills, they were maybe not experienced but they were enemies to fear.

At Wednesday night, after an intensive day of training, they all crashed at Merlin's place, including Cenred, with takeaway China and very cold beers. They ate in silence in a loving atmosphere on the terrace, as only really good friends could.

Merlin was happy, looking at them and munching his noodles. Arthur and Cenred were both born leaders. They all trusted each other now with their lives. He considered it the most powerful weapon in the universe.

After dinner, they all took an early night.

Merlin and Arthur found Cenred laying spread out naked on their bed. During dinner, he had asked if he could take a shower and he must have passed out afterwards.

They both smiled and looked at each other, not knowing what to say or do.

Despite his age, his huge body was in good shape, tanned and muscled, with not even an ounce of fat showing. His long dick, sleeping in thick black hair.

To their surprise, they were both aroused by the look of their naked friend. It had nothing to do with their love for each other. It was pure lust over another manly naked body, in full sight. But they just stood there.

"How long were you planning to look at me?" Cenred startled them.

They both jumped, flushed and stuttered excuses.

"The wing-beat of a butterfly can wake me", he said, while raising and leaning comfortably to the headboard.

"Now come to daddy. I could use a good fuck." His dick was slowly rising now.

The bluntness and the sincerity of the man, made them both drop their clothes without hesitation. “Three’s always better than one, eh, Merlin?” In the beginning, it was a bit awkward to Merlin and Arthur. They had just found out how to make love with the two of them, let alone a threesome.

Cenred led them. In a gentle knowing way. He positioned their bodies, being always in the middle to both of them. His huge hands caressed their cocks tenderly at first, while both their hands were busy stroking his.

Getting more aroused he pulled their mouths to his hard cock. They swallowed him in turns, licked him from top to balls, meanwhile kissing each other, wet and slippery.

He moaned; "This is a dream come true for an old man."

At one moment he lifted his legs and let them rim his muscled hairy ass. When the bed was getting all wet only by their precum, he led Arthur's dick to his ass who wide-eyed entered it.

He groaned for pleasure.

Cenred somehow moved both their bodies and gripped Merlin's dripping dick. Once he understood, Merlin too carefully entered his hot and slick hole.

He felt Arthur's dick against his. The warm pulsing muscles of Cenred's bottom.

The three of them found their rhythm while kissing each other.

Giving, receiving.

Merlin and Arthur came at the same time, pumping their load into Cenreds rectum.

Slowly they retrieved their dicks, panting and moaning.

Without any consideration, they bent over and sucked Cenred til he sprayed in hot strong waves on his hairy chest.

Then they sighed and laid down and cuddled and kissed some more.

When they were cleaning themselves a bit, Merlin made their bed with fresh linen. Vanilla mixing perfectly with the scents of their bodies. They fell asleep in no time.

They woke just before dawn, all tangled legs and arms as if they were used to it, naturally, lovingly. Even the showering, dressing, making breakfast, the chatting and bantering, it felt like old friends, being used to each other for years, instead of days.

When Cenred left with the ladies to the first training session of that day, Merlin kissed Arthur. "I'm glad we love each other so much, we can share our bodies freely, just for the pleasure of it."

Arthur locked eyes with him. "Me too", he said, cupped his face and kissed him intensely.

When they left for the Manor, Merlin closed his house with a bit of a worrying expression on his face. Arthur walked back to him, hugged him from behind and said; "We'll be back here, I promise."

Tonight they would sleep in one of the apartments of Ealdor Manor. One by one, they all had, inconspicuous, moved into the manor. It was easier for Merlin and Hunith to protect them and to inform them all together. They even cooked dinner in the small kitchen and ate in the summer evening on the terraces.

Only, somehow, the protection faded within a few hours.

Hunith and Merlin had to repair spells, over and over again.

"Find the origin", Gaius suggested, "in order to brake your spells, they must have used their own. Find the spell and trace its origin".

He was right. As always. Even if two sorcerers used the same spell, you could trace it back to the one user, as clear as one recognized the style of a painter or a writer.

They did find a powerful string of spells, unravelled one and found its maker; Nimueh. Because of that, they found her other spells and her massive use of magic everywhere. Merlin was so relieved to have operated from his house and not from the manor. He knew it was a wise decision, now he knew why.

She could have been a serious threat.

In a few hours, the Manor was safe again, at least for evil magic.

The night before Q-day, there were no shooting lessons, no meetings. Everyone was in their own apartment, preparing, resting. Ealdor Manor was quiet.

Their suits hung ready, their shoes were polished. Their bags with their black battle clothes were packed. Sandwiches and fruit ready-made in the fridge. Arthur's weapons were cleaned, his knives polished.

It had been a clear hot day and Merlin and Arthur were having dinner at their balcony to catch the little evening breeze. Arthur brought the empty plates to the kitchen en came back with a nice bottle of prosecco.

"To celebrate", he said while he poured two glasses. "I want to make a toast to Q-day, to victory." They sipped their bubbles, then Merlin raised and said: "I totally agree. I want to make a toast to you and me, lovers, buddies, mates, friends and Q-day soldiers." He pulled Arthur so their heads touched. "We'll free Mordred tomorrow." Arthur nodded and sighed; "Yes! Can't wait." They quietly drank their wine and looked at the sunset.

Even Arthur took a cigarillo, to calm his nerves or to make a new ritual.

After one glass, Arthur threw the bottle into the forest. "Wait. What?" Merlin exclaimed. Arthur did not explain but said; "There is another bottle in the fridge, I promise we'll drink it as soon as we come back."

Merlin felt it was a vow and he loved him for it.

That night, they just cuddled and spooned. Clinging to each other as a beacon of hope.

In the late morning when they all met outside, their expression was fierce, grimly. Determined to free Mordred or die trying it. There was a lot of hugging going on while packing their cars.

Leaving, they were a convoy, an armed one.

Yet every car looked like an average car, on the outside. Merlin had put a spell on each one, so no one would even glance at the cars. But the engines were unbelievable strong, you would easily win the formula one with them. They had the most modern electronic stuff, with sensors, electronics, location finders and even weapons, like an ultrasonic field.

As soon as they left the manor, each car took its own route.

Albeit they might be ready for battle, first they had to filch the location from her majesty.


	10. Earl Grey before milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After royal high tea, events unfolded according to plan. Al least at first. From high hopes to rock-bottom on a summers day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you want to be warned, things get a bit rough in this chapter. According to my standards. Some killing, some horror description, although I rounded the edges a bit while editing. And some dying, some loss. Not a glimpse of a happy ending for now.

"Shit", Merlin hissed, upon entering the palace, "there's magic in here." Arthur and Morgan startled but they kept on walking. The palace guards seated them in an impressive hall with tapestries and mirrors and asked them to wait. They posted themselves at the entry.

Merlin bit his fingernails. How could he have been as stupid as not to check the palace on magic? What if the whole mission would fail because he forgot to check one detail. It wasn't even a minor one.

"I'm gonna fix it", he whispered to his friends.

Before they could say a word he raised and walked to one of the guards. "Would you be as kind as to show me where I can wash my hands?" The man nodded politely and walked with him to one of the many doors to enter another hallway and closed the door behind them. Merlin immediately put a spell on him. The guard stopped and leaned to the wall, as relaxed as if he was standing in a bar.

Merlin cloaked himself and ran off in the direction he felt the magic was coming. He was so angry at himself. Fierce he ran several hallways and took some stairs. Without hesitating, he stormed through some large doors. The room was dimly lit with only candles. Decorated with old furniture and draperies. He felt the sickening touch of evil magic.

Behind the screen, he heard a familiar voice laughing.

"Morgause was right. You took the bait."

"Nimueh!"

He shouted her name and in a split-second, angry as hell, without even thinking, he used his most powerful gesture, killing her instantly.

Little did he know she was only a nanosecond too late in killing him first.

Not a speck of dust remained. Only her blue lighted magic, swirling in midair for Merlin to harvest with a slight feeling of guilt.

Running back he carefully contained Nimueh's magic and sent it to Kilgharrah.

He got back, sweating and panting, just in time to meet the butler who was coming to get them. They were led into one of the more private chambers of the Queen. A lot of red and gold, flowery couches with fluffy cushions. On the tables, formal flower arrangements, on the walls old paintings and in front of the windows, thick lace curtains, blocking any view.

The butler introduced the duchess of Avalon and the duke of Ealdor to the Queen. Morgana's courtesy was impressive, Arthur's bow royal by nature. Her majesty was formal and at the same time friendly. A perfect mix of royalty and grandma's kindness, Merlin thought, standing behind the couch.

His friends looked stunning in their clothes. The blue of Morgana's dress lit up her eyes. Her dark curls were tamed just a little. He couldn't take his eyes off Arthur in his perfect fitting suit, handsome as fuck. They were the best in the formal chit chat with her royal highness, probably by nurture.

The butler served Earl Grey in pale green china before milk, the proper way. Tea with the Queen included also a variety of small delicate sandwiches, crustless of course, scones and Elisabeth's favourite; chocolate biscuit cake. Although they were not feeling hungry, they couldn't resist it. The rich dark chocolate cake had a lovely crunchy texture thanks to the addition of classic English cookies called Rich tea biscuits. A layer of decadent chocolate frosting was the perfect finishing touch. Despite it all, Merlin put it in his memory, to make it one day at home, when this all was over.

In between eating and drinking the queen held an animated conversation going, from the weather, family and friends to their favourite travel destinies. Merlin tried to stand patiently, waiting till Morgana brought him elegantly into the conversation. He answered the queens need for help with one of her plants, attended the sick green leaves and healed them in an instance. She showed her gratefulness by grabbing his hands.

That was his moment.

He released his magic, enforced his former spell on her and whispered in his lowest voice possible; "Now, would you please tell us about your hiding places in case of a nuclear attack?"

"Of course, my dearest mister Emrys", she said, "It's the least I can do to thank you. Officially our headquarters during a nuclear attack will be Turnstile of course, under Box Hill. In case we have time enough we might go to Scotland, there are bunkers for us under the mountains. But we do have our own bunker to live in close to the government headquarters. It's under Peaslake and nobody knows", she giggled majestically.

His friends raised. Merlin immediately snapped with his fingers and froze time. He switched the central unit on and told his friends the location. They all startled hearing his voice as clear as if he was standing next to them. Carefully he removed the memory of the people in the room and people they met on their way inside. Arthur and Morgana were already running to the exit.

Percival waited outside with the motor running and the doors open.

He unfroze time only when they were safely driving out of London.

Cenred picked four different routes for them to their meeting point, about a kilometre from Peaslake. Cenred drove Freya and Elena and Will. Gwaine drove Gwen and Lance and Hunith. Elyan drove Leon, Gaius and Alice.

They all met in the grasslands of Peaslake. From every car came lots of food and drinks, blankets and cushions, even some chairs. "For the elderly", Gaius said gratefully. If people passed they would see a happy bunch of people, picnicking on a nice summer day.

Merlin tried to reach out if he could feel any sign of Mordred. He found him, weaker than he expected. He asked Kilgharrah to tune in to Mordred's thoughts.

 _You do as you please, I see_.

"Expected otherwise?" Merlin retorted. "Now, please tell him Arthur is here to save him tonight, he must stay alive and keep his hopes up."

 _As you wish_.

In the meantime, he called the buzzard.

Hunith scanned the setting carefully. Cenred did the same, lying in the grass with a small telescope.

The buzzard came within a few minutes, landing elegantly on Merlin's arm. He meowed and squeaked for the joy of meeting again. He listened with his head tilted to what Merlin said and left immediately, eager to his mission.

Cenred had discovered the roof of a small building that looked like an old bunker and small hidden cameras all around the place. He only found them because he recognized it being MI5 stuff.

Hunith met layers of magic, meaning a lot of cloaking had been done around the area. She shivered because she felt also many 'lost souls' down the earth.

When the buzzard returned, he told Merlin he saw at least four bad people hiding in trees and in the bushes. He mentioned also two good people.

Sitting and eating they discussed what they knew now.

"First, we have to eliminate those cameras", Arthur said.

"We're on it", Cenred and Will said, typing frantically on their laptops and other gear. "We'll hack them first and then we make sure, whoever is behind those cameras get only repeating images."

"How long?" Merlin asked.

"An hour and a half, maybe sooner", Cenred assured him.

"After that, we have to get rid of the guards, there are at least four of them." Arthur continued.

Merlin hesitated. "That's a perfect job for Freya and Elena."

Many of his friends looked puzzled.

"They are the snipers I told you about."

"You son of a bitch", Cenred chuckled.

"Okay", Arthur smiled, "how?"

"Use the buzzard", Gaius said.

Merlin pointed his finger to his uncle and said: "Perfect idea." He raised his arm to the buzzard who stayed close in a tree. He told him to gather some of his friends and to wait closeby for his signal.

"As soon as the cameras are taken care of, I'll send the buzzards to make it look like they attack the guards. Freya and Elena are permanently listening in on another line so they will know when to shoot."

"We will be there too, in case there are more than four or if they try to escape. Parceval, Gwaine, Elyan?" His three friends agreed.

Merlin locked eyes with Arthur. He wanted to keep him away from all danger, knowing it couldn't be. They both knew.

"Than what?" Morgana asked.

"We wait till dark, hide the cars and find the entry?" Arthur said.

Merlin nodded. "It gives us the chance to see if anyone reacts to what we have done. And Leon and Lance will have the time to scout the area around the entrance in advance."

So they waited.

The men played with a ball, Morgana and Gwen played tennis, some were reading a book or at least pretended they did. It was a lovely sunny day. High summer held the earth. Swallows floated high on the current. Insects were humming and buzzing in the grass. Peaceful.

Merlin thought it was unthinkable only a thousand yards from there, innocent people were imprisoned in the dark under the earth.

"I know", Hunith said, "humanity at stake here."

More than a mother and a son, their senses, their thoughts were connected, being a side-effect of the constant use of their magic.

Midafternoon, Cenred told Merlin the cameras were disabled.

Merlin turned on his unit. The four men playing ball got his word and slowly went into the direction of the bunker.

"We're ready', Freya whispered in his ear.

Merlin beautifully squeaked. From high above, four little black dots slowly circled down.

"It got their attention". Freya and Elena already had spotted the four guards, despite their camouflage skills.

Halfway the four buzzards dived dead straight to their targets.

The four guards raised, distracted, with only eyes for the birds, coming their way as cannonballs.

The four friends closed in on them, their weapons out.

With four impeccable shots, the guards dropped dead.

Arthur carefully inspected them.

"Cars coming in from the east', Elena shouted, "fifteen minutes."

"Get out of there", Merlin hissed in the communicator, "there's a car coming to your direction."

Although Arthur signalled he heard him, they didn't leave. He smiled and said; "We'll change places. Now!"

"Dammit. No", Merlin gasped.

"He is good", Cenred said putting his hand on Merlin's shoulder. It's cunning, but if it works, we're in, you know?" Merlin sighed.

"Lance. Leon. Go!"

Arthur and his men had ten minutes before they were in the visible range, but they did manage to undress the dead bodies and put on their uniforms. Lance and Leon were close now, hiding behind the trees with Freya and Elena.

"Lucky they had masks on", Gwain said when they were ready, just in time. Three of them went down at the original spots of the guards, while Arthur casually walked to the bunker to wait for the cars.

Merlin staccato-ed his orders; "Break up. Hide the cars. Walk over there." All moved in perfect cooperation. Merlin and Hunith gave hands and shifted to the back of the bunker.

A lorry stopped at first, followed by a silver Jeep. The drivers stayed in their seats, not interested in what was happening. From the lorry, two uniformed men jumped and shouted to people inside. The first coming out of the cargo compartment was a crying drag queen, his beautiful dress torn, his make-up a mess. The second one was a shy pale boy. The men pushed them rudely forward in the direction of the bunker.

"What? Lost your tongue and your key again?" One of the men pushed Arthur's shoulder.

"Oh, fuck off", Arthur said and went down the stairs to where apparently the entrance was. He found a key in one of the many pockets and tried to open the lock without too much trembling, his sweating hidden by the mask.

In the meantime, Freya and Elena took the two drivers out, without making any noise. Leon and Lance approached the entry. Bad luck. Of of the uniformed men looked back, saw the two men and shouted.

Hell broke loose.

Arthur killed one with his bare hands.

He took the two boys out again and pulled them up the bunker's roof. "Run", he shouted.

Two guards from inside came running to the noise.

Leon was lying on the ground, Lance was still fighting.

Merlin and Hunith ran past Arthur and blasted the two guards away in one move of their hands. Arthur helped Lance and took care of Leon.

Wounded, not dead.

The rest of them arrived at the bunker. Merlin and Hunith carefully scanned the entrance.

No guards, no magic.

Nothing but darkness and sickening smell. A mixture of stale air, despair, faeces and something rotten.

The entrance was, in fact, a big balcony, with on both sides open doors to the command room and an office and stairs on both sides.

"Find electricity. Not for light but for fresh air", Merlin said. His voice echoed in the darkness. "Hunith and I will make light, soft and not too much. We don't know how long they have been in the darkness."

Slowly soft light balls drifted in front of them. Showing them floors on both sides with a dirty white colour and small spaces, you could call it apartments, you could call it cells.

The doors weren't even locked.

"Buses arrived", Cenred said, "Freya and Elena keep watch outside."

"If you go in here", Merlin sighed. "you will save people who are maybe sick and wounded, undernourished. You will also meet death. It is okay to stay out, it is your decision."

They all went in.

Will pushed some buttons to revive the air circulation. First, the air got worse but after some minutes it got better.

In every cell, they found young men and women, scarcely clothed, laying on the cold floor, clearly not fed in days, maybe weeks. Clearly not washed in weeks too. Some didn't even have the strength to get up and laid in their own dirt. They shielded their eyes from the light, moaned and cried if they had a voice left.

One by one they carried them outside, into the buses. Gaius and Alice would accompany them to Ealdor Manor, nurses would be readying beds and supplies by now.

Some of them were dead.

Only unrecognizable pieces of rotten human meat left.

Merlin and many of his friends heaved from time to time. Leon, shot in his arm, filmed it all.

Merlin, Arthur, Hunith and Perceval arrived on the last floor, deep down in the earth. One half were empty cells, in the other half young men were chained to the walls with deadly fear in their eyes. Merlin immediately unchained them, examined them if they needed emergency healing, which he and Hunith gave.

That's where Parceval found Mordred.

His fear immediately subsided on seeing the compassion in Perceval's expression. They locked eyes.

Perceval sobbed and took the fragile young men in his arms. Without taking his eyes away from Mordred's, he shouted; "Arthur", and walked out of the cell.

Arthur came running and caressed his now crying little brother. "You're safe now, my little friend, you're safe now." He kissed him on his dirty forehead.

They were the last ones who came up in the early summer evening.

"Let's bring Mordred to our cars, we'll take him to Merlin's place", Arthur said hoarse but with a relieved expression on his face.

The buses left. They all gathered around Perceval carrying Mordred. They were tired, dirty, but happy. Their mission was accomplished and in their ranks only one minor casualty. So far, so good.

Suddenly, the wind rose.

The sun was blocked.

In seconds it grew pitch black. They startled, panicked and shouted to each other.

Merlin summoned Kilgharrah just before, in shining colours and lights, riding a magical black horse, Morgause appeared.

In her wake, Uther.

She held the two boys Arthur helped escape. Without a warning, she broke their necks.

They all gasped for a breath of pure horror. Merlin shifted so he was between Morgause and his friends.

"Oww, you pathetic powerless little warlock", Morgause said giggling, "now let's make this not longer than necessary. We'll take Mordred, you all go home safe."

"No", both Merlin and Arthur snapped.

With little more than moving her eyebrow, she killed Will. His body thudded on the grass.

Fierce Merlin raised his magic. But Arthur stepped in front of him. Without hesitating, he shot at Uther who dropped from his horse, crying in pain. Arthur shouted and shot again and again till his father silenced.

"So boring", Morgause yawned. "Now you have had your little pleasure, please do hand me Mordred and you still can go home."

"You can take me instead, but you're not getting my brother."

"No", Merlin whispered desperately, "don't do this Arthur."

She laughed, looked at them all for a brief moment with her blackened eyes and in a whirlwind of noise and lights she left.

The sun shone peacefully again over the green grasslands of Peaslake.

Arthur was gone.

_It was your destiny to protect him you stubborn warlock._

Merlin fell on his knees and screamed. He hit rock-bottom, he might as well be dead.

They all felt shivers hearing his cry, his grief, his powerless anger.

Hunith touched him and together with Gwen, they helped him stand.

He staggered to the dead body of his lifetime friend. Will's familiar face now pale. His eyes were wide open in horror surprise. Sobbing he closed his friend's eyes and leaned till they touched foreheads. There was nothing left, all the energy his friend had been, was gone now.

He looked around, not knowing what to do.

Gwaine and Elyan took him by his arms. "Let's go home, we can do nothing here. We'll make a plan. We'll get him back."

Merlin looked into the eyes of his friends, grateful for their presence and loyalty but inconsolable and feeling guilty as hell.


	11. Plan B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dragon roared with laughter. 
> 
> "The crystal cave is of no use to you."
> 
> "And why is that?"
> 
> He bowed his huge head till the soft spot of his nose almost touched Merlin. 
> 
> "Because the chrystals show destiny. You follow your own path, instead of my destiny. That's why!" 
> 
> His tail swept some trees away. 
> 
> Now Merlin laughed. " _ **Your**_ destiny?"

Merlin caressed the young boy, laying on a bed, freshly washed with new pyjama trousers on. His wounds were taken care of, a drip giving nourishing liquid to his veins. His dark eyes were wide open, his hands squeezed his sheets restlessly. He startled with every sound he heard.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep", the boy said hoarsely.

"I understand", Merlin whispered, "then don't."

The boy seemed somewhat relieved. He was given a choice.

"You're not alone here. You can walk and go where ever you want. We leave the lights on and all the doors stay open. Or you can just lay down and rest. I'll be here all night, just call my name." In the meantime, he rounded some of the edges of the boys' traumatic fear so he would maybe get some peace of mind.

The trauma's he met were huge. Some of these kids were prisoned for over a year. He swore he would prevent anything like this from happening again. Ever.

After he found Arthur.

Immediately after hearing about Will's death and Arthur taken by Morgause, Gaius insisted Merlin would help him in the Manor. "It's what he needs now", Gaius said to Hunith, "or he will drown."

He was right.

Will and Arthur were constantly in his head, in his heart. But being needed, professionally, for his magic and for the human being he was, helped him more than he would admit. These young forever damaged people sensed his magic, his power, his kindness, his grief, his fear, all at once. That's why, despite their trauma and shock, they opened themselves to him, so the healing could start right here and now.

Elena and Cenred took on the project of finding the families of the victims. They had given everyone a choice, no matter their age, if they wanted to be found.

Only a very young redhaired twin, Tommy and Joan didn't want to go back to uncle Joe.

"The cellar is the same", Joan said.

Tommy completed; "Only the food is better."

Merlin arranged the paperwork to take them in as long term patients at Ealdor Manor. The toddlers clamped to each other, even in their sleep. Merlin and his friends adored them.

For the moment, the Manor park was closed down and guarded by police on every corner. Mainly to prevent the paparazzi from harassing the present patients and the staff. Freya had it also organised until they knew the organisation behind Uther.

When everyone was taken care of and a new group of nurses arrived for the day shift, they all sat in Merlin's office, exhausted. They shared what needs they met with the young people in the Manor and divided future tasks. But they also talked about all that had happened and the impact of it. At least it had made them closer.

Merlin decided they all could do with some hours free to shower and sleep and eat, although everyone assured him they would go with him as soon as he needed them to rescue Arthur.

He walked home in the first rays of sunshine, feeling grateful, proud, exhausted and at the same time, awfully sad.

Reaching out for Arthur, as he did every minute, he felt a huge difference. His love was for the first time indissolubly connected to his magic. Enforcing it. Liquid shining gold flowing constantly in and out.

Inside, he threw all his clothes in the washing room and stepped into the hot shower. He bounced his head to the wall and cried till he had no tear left.

With reddened skin and red eyes in only his trousers, he made some coffee, with ginger and honey. He lit a cigarillo and went outside, finding Morgana, Gwaine and Elyan drinking beer on the terrace. Morgana hugged him and said she was sorry for him.

"But it is all my fault", he sobbed.

"No, it's not", Morgana stated, "my brother stepped in, it was his choice."

"Now come with me", she said and took his hand.

She dragged him through the house and carefully opened one of Merlin's spare rooms. In the shady room on the bed were Parceval and Mordred laying, definitely washed and in fresh trousers. The big body of Parceval spooned the fragile, bruised Mordred in such a protective, loving way, even Merlin was touched by the sight of it.

Walking back, Morgana said; "After his examination, Mordred refused the drip and wanted normal food and drinks and no medication. Gaius thought it was okay for the time being. They agreed he could have a coca-cola if he took his painkillers. Parceval wouldn't leave him for a minute and took him with him to your place.

"They're cute", Merlin agreed, "I'm glad they are here."

His absolute loneliness stabbed him like a knife.

He stayed on the terrace when all went to bed. He dared not sleep alone.

In his head, he relived the last day over and over again. What could he have done differently? Was it truly his destiny to save and protect Arthur? Did destiny reckon with Arthur having a free will? And where did Morgause take him? He tried again to reach out with his love intertwined with his magic. An endless flow, with no end and no Arthur.

He must have dozed off a bit because suddenly his sun was blocked. Gaius and Hunith stood on his terrace with some food and drinks.

"We figured you wouldn't go to bed", Gaius said while he stroked Merlin's hair.

"And we were right", Hunith said while hugging him, "so we thought we might bring something to eat and talk things over."

Merlin smiled. "You're the best."

They laid a table on the terrace and spread out the food. Merlin made them some strong coffee and despite it all, they enjoyed the food and each others company.

"Now where do we start?" Gaius asked.

Merlin squinted. "First we have to get rid of Uther's body, I think?"

"Freya and Elena took care of that, together with Cenred, so this murder will be covered."

"Good, that's good", Merlin said, "then we have to arrange Will's funeral?"

"The boys are already working on that. They've informed his father and his sister, so that's off your shoulders as well", Hunith smiled to him weakly.

"Maybe Morgana foresees in her dreams where Morgause is holding Arthur", Merlin said pensively. "And I could ask Kilgharrah if he is still willing to help me."

Hunith asked: "Why wouldn't he? You're the dragonlord?"

Merlin shrugged. "He thinks I'm not following my destiny."

"Rubbish", Hunith said, "one thing I learned from Balinor is one chooses one's own destiny. Not the destiny a dragon thinks best."

Merlin pondered about that. It was a new way of looking at it. He liked the idea. It gave him more energy instead of feeling guilty over not following the destiny the dragon had chosen for him.

"Morgause has magic and lives in the same mortal world as you. Right?"

Merlin frowned before he answered his uncle. "Right. But she has black magic. When I meet her it's draining my energy but not weakening my magic. And she is evil, that might be tricky sometimes, she doesn't play fair. But in the end, she is less powerful than I am."

Hunith agreed.

"So, she is hiding Arthur in this world, not in some other dimension or the magical world"

"True", Merlin stated.

"Well, dear Merlin", Gaius said, "I think you have two options. I've done some reading the past few weeks. First I think you should ask Kilgharrah, no, you should order him, to bring you to the crystal cave and second, you should ask your father. In my opinion, you have no other choices at the moment."

Merlin looked to his family, astonished. He felt more or less cornered and yet, they might be right. Unless he wanted to chase Morgause till the end of the world, preferably on a horse? He chuckled.

He thanked them, they helped him to clear his head and at the same time, they respected his grief, his fears and his doubts.

They left him alone with his thoughts.

Once he cleared the table and checked on Mordred again he simply collapsed on his bed and slept for hours till his cat nibbled at his ears, in cat language; I WANT FOOD. NOW!

Still exhausted he raised and got her a bowl of kibble and made some coffee. After an inspection of his fridge, he couldn't thank his housecleaner enough. Everything was in there to make a nourishing chicken soup. He hummed in between his tears while preparing the chicken and cutting the vegetables.

He felt his arm was cut off.

He felt a hurting hole in his heart.

All the platitudes were usable for what he felt about losing his friend Will and missing Arthur. Yet he lived in the moment, allowed himself to grieve. Somehow he knew for certain he would save Arthur. No matter what.

While the chicken soup was getting ready on the stove, Perceval and Mordred came out of their room. Perceval had a sudden boyish shyness, Merlin had never seen before. Mordred leaned in on him with big eyes, pale skin and dark bags under his eyes. Merlin forgot about introductions.

"Hungry?" Merlin asked.

They both nodded and seated themselves at the kitchen table.

Merlin served them a steaming bowl of soup and warned them to wait before eating. Mordred didn't say a word while Perceval and Merlin talked about the events of the past days.

Finally, he said; "Perci says you are a wizard and you will find my brother?"

Merlin looked at him and Perceval and suddenly understood the two men in front of him were in love.

He liked the thought of it.

"I will. Because I have magic and a dragon. But mostly because I am in love with Arthur. I would do anything to find him, even if it means I had to travel the whole world."

He let the words sank in.

Percival looked down and smiled shyly. Mordred squinted at Merlin, flushed a little and said; "Like I love Percy?" He flushed some more, after realising what he just said.

"Exactly", Merlin said smiling to the blushing pair in front of him. "Now, eat your soup."

His magic whispered. It reached out on its own accord and circled around Mordred for a short time. Could it be Mordred had magic? And was he healing himself?

Returning to the Manor, later that evening, he discovered everyone was far too busy to even think about saving Arthur. He was needed too. Especially at night a lot of the young victims had trouble sleeping. After the first exhaustion yesterday, darkness now meant facing their recent fears. After talking to Gaius and Gwen, he decided to take the nightshift with them.

In the meantime, he summoned Kilgharrah in a clearing in the forest behind the manor.

 _Yes?_ The dragon asked bluntly.

"Bring me to the crystal cave."

Kilgharrah looked down on him.

_Why on earth would I do that?_

"Because I tell you to."

The dragon roared with laughter.

_The crystal cave is of no use to you._

"And why is that?"

He bowed his huge head till the soft spot of his nose almost touched Merlin.

_Because the chrystals show destiny. You follow your own path, instead of my destiny. That's why!_

His tail swept some trees away.

Now Merlin laughed. " _ **Your**_ destiny?"

Merlin swore the dragon looked caught. He swayed his head away and mumbled something under his breath, as far as that was possible for a dragon.

Ignoring their conversation he said abruptly; _Shall we go, dear Warlock?_

Merlin shook his head and climbed his back.

 _Prepare. You might feel stranges waves. We go back in time_.

Dizzy and numb he felt when they arrived. He had to sit for a few minutes.

It was a faraway forest, yet it looked familiar. It was old and natural. Not cultivated in any way. The scent of moss, rotten leaves, the sound of a brooklet nearby it brought back strange memories.

_Walk down that trench, follow your magic. You're on your own now. I'll wait for you._

He followed a little trail and released his magic. He heard the sound of un-earthly singing and suddenly he was standing in a vast cave, consisting of limestone dripping water on blue shining crystals.

One of the crystals called for him.

A woman's voice whispered to show him his destiny.

He stepped back. "I didn't come to see my destiny", he thundered.

The cave held her breath and darkened a bit. The water stopped dripping, the crystals held their tongues in reproach.

He spat out; "Where the hell is Arthur?"

The water slowly started tinkling again.

In the back of the cave, a crystal lit up. He climbed to it and kneeled in front of it. He let his magic flow freely.

"Are you sure you want to see what they are going to show you?"

He startled. "Father!"

"Son."

They stared at each other for a while.

"I", he started.

He sighed. Quivered. A tear escaped his eye.

"Will you stay with me for a while?"

Balinor nodded slowly.

"I need to know, you know?"

"I know."

He came standing next to Merlin. "Once you ask to see the future, you are never allowed to come back here."

Merlin shrugged.

He bowed over to the crystal again; "Show me where Arthur is."

The crystal lit up, the water stirred. From above he saw a black, damaged tower. Zooming in slowly it showed a glowing stone altar. Arthur was tied on it. Bruised. Pale. He sobbed. The vision blurred and disappeared.

He jumped. "That's all you can do?"

Out of his despair, impatience, anger, even out of his feeling for justice, he waved with his hands in a delicate pattern.

"No", Balinor exclaimed and disappeared out of sight.

Merlin walked out of the cave and followed the trail back to Kilgharrah, without looking back.

With a sickening thud, the crystal cave collapsed.

In his pocket, he clamped a piece of a crystal, cold as ice.

Without a word, Kilgharrah brought him back to his own time. He simply dropped him at the forest hill.

Not a minute had passed since they left.

He sank down with his back to a tree, looking out over the Manor, the park.

"So now you know."

His father seated himself next to him. "Knowing isn't always easy. Ignorance can be bliss. And son, you are far more powerful than I ever could imagine. It makes me both proud and afraid of you. I hope you can handle all that power within you. If you need help, just ask."

He calmed down by the sound of his father's voice.

"I can handle my magic, I know its strength. More and more I discover it's possibilities. Right now it, my love and my magic are inseparable." His voice trembled.

"It's my temper I need to control."

His father agreed. "Yep. Like father, like son."

They both smiled.

"Will you help me find Arthur?"

"That's what I am here for, son. Now show me the picture you saw of him, it must be engraved in your mind, isn't it?"

Merlin nodded, closed his eyes and immediately he saw Arthur laying on the altar, pale and bruised in the black tower. When he opened his eyes, he didn't know after how long, his dad was gone.

At dust, he walked back to the Manor and started his night shift, together with Gaius, Gwen and even Morgana.

"I can't sleep so I thought I make myself useful here."

"Dreaming?" Merlin asked.

She nodded briefly and walked away with a pile of clean sheets.

Later that night, Merlin was holding hands with a young girl. Gaius had given her some potion to sleep better and he promised to stay with her until she slept.

When she did, he found his father leaning in the doorway.

"You look so much after your mother when you take care of people", his father said.

They walked through the hallway. "Morgause keeps Arthur prisoner at Avalon, the isle of the blessed."

"What if she kills him?"

"What if she is waiting for you to rescue him and kill you both?"

"Aargh", he punched the wall in frustration. "Then what? I'm certainly not going to do nothing!"

"You'll think of something. She might be evil, she's not that clever. Pretty predictable too. Outsmart her." And he was gone.

Later that night during one of their coffee breaks, he told his friends what he knew. Meanwhile, his brain made overtime.

"We'll inform the rest", Gaius said, "you'll never know who might come up with plan B."

The next morning, the tabloids were interesting. Headlines were all about the brutal murder of Uther Pendragon, MI5 was investigating. Smaller headlines talked about the missing of the Queen's personal advisor, Nimueh. Some newspapers even mentioned the robbed bunker in Peaslake, the bomb shelter not so royal anymore.

That was the time for Cenred to send the encrypted video Leon made to Freya. She assured him the Crown Prosecutor would look at it, in her presence.

Small cards arrived in the mail, with a beautiful picture of Will on it. The invitation to Will's funeral on Thursday.

He walked home, together with Morgana in the rising morning sun.

"Tell me about your dream."

Her eyes grew weary. She shivered.

"They slaughtered Arthur. On an altar."

He put an arm around her shoulders. "I know, it's awful."

Shivering for a moment he thought; What if he is already dead?

She sobbed.

"I'll prevent it, don't worry."

She smiled through her tears, hugged him and went inside.

Merlin sat on his terrace, smoking before getting some sleep.

The deer and her grown young came into his direction. Merlin greeted them on his knees in the grass. They looked into each other's eyes fo a long time.

_My stag was shot when chasing others. But what's your reason to be sad?_

He told her and she assured him all would be alright.

_We will both find our stag, in time._

As animals always did, she lifted his spirit up.

He crawled on his bed and clamped to one of the cushions. Arthur's vaguely spicy scent touched him, bringing memories of their nights together. His body ached for him.

His cat jumped on the bed and crept close to his back, giving solace.

He slept restlessly, with disturbing dreams and woke ith a confusing thought that Morgause might be at Will's funeral. Although he tried to shake it off, the thought kept coming back.

After a shower, and a change of clothes he found Parceval making them lunch. A pale Mordred was dozing in the grass.

"Thank you for your hospitality", he said watching an omelette to get ready on the stove. His light voice not matching his muscled big body.

"It's fine", Merlin said, "I'm glad I'm not alone." He rumbled in the fridge and grabbed some beer and white wine.

Outside he found Gwaine and Elyan setting the table. Even Morgana joined them with sleepy eyes in her dazzling nightwear.

They were all well informed by Morgana and when they were eating Percëval simply asked; "So, when are we going to rescue Arthur?"

"Not yet. We can't. She is expecting us, she is waiting for us. She knows me too well. It would be a perfect trap. So, I guess we'll have to do the unexpected."

Gwaine frowned. His beer and a piece of omelette hanging in midair. "We'll have to lure her out of her magical cave than. Don't we?"

Merlin chewed on that for a moment. He raised, walked to Gwaine and kissed him on his head. "Genius", he said.

"I know", Gwaine smirked.

Mordred stumbled out of the grass to the table and started to munch pieces of bread and omelette. "Are you guys making plans to save my brother?"

"Yes, o yes, we are", Merlin said with a sudden lightheartedly, "plan B."

After lunch, he texted each and every one. To help him find a way to lure Morgause away from Arthur. To dare, challenge, trigger her out of Avalon.

Inventing plan B kept him busy and rounded the edges of feeling powerless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Crystal Cave is said to the place where the magic began. But it was not the source of magical energies. I was merely the place where the Old Religion was founded. Therefore destroying it didn't affect Magic nor Merlin.


	12. The bait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's plan is desperate and the only option he has left to rescue Arthur. Choosing one's destiny is not easier than following your destiny.

**The bait**

It was the night before Will's funeral.

The sun was low but it was still warm. The shadows grew longer. Not a leaf was stirring. The dark Avalon waters lay flat as a mirror. Swallows drank from it in their matchless flight. Close to the Isle of the Blessed, two black swans floated as elegant as arrogant in slow circles, causing long and slow ripples. A blackbird was singing in the distance.

Merlin stood, barefoot, up to his ankles in the cool water. His eyes glued to the surface. Not one glance at the tower, stranded as he was on the point of no return, out of options. No one to share it with, no one to get assurance from. The burden was his alone.

The only thing happily, confidently flowing was his magic, shining and more powerful than ever before.

He released some of it into the lake and waited.

The water rippled.

Slowly a woman emerged out of the waves, consisting only out of the water, with a blue-ish shine.

"Emrys", said the Lady of the Lake, "the honour."

"Lady", Merlin bowed politely.

"What is it you want from us?"

"I need The Cup of Life."

"Ah", she said and whirled around, "to revive Arthur."

His heart ached.

She confirmed his darkest guess. And yet his golden magic still flowed freely, assuring, giving hope.

"No no", He replied finally. "It is for Will I need it. He's dead. I discovered I can't live without him."

The lady of the Lake froze, her eyes suddenly filled with the darkest of blue.

"Will is not your destiny", she roared, "how dare you to ask for it."

Furious, she made angry waves.

"I don't give a damn about destiny", he thundered. "Nor Arthur. I'm in love with Will and I am going to give him his life back, whether you approve of it or not."

The Lady was already sinking back into the water.

"You don't need my help for such a devious thing. We do not approve. It is not your destiny. You are on your own now."

Angry as hell he shot some convincing fireballs to the spot where the Lady disappeared and it made the shores shiver. In seconds he forced dark clouds storming in and changed the summer evening into the worst thunderstorm ever.

Since that night, the weather at the Lake was never sunny again.

He shifted back to his home and startled his friends a bit when he popped out of midair. They were all there, even Freia, Elena and Cenred. Enjoying their drinks in the lazy summer eve.

Morgana poured him a glass of red wine. He toasted; "The bait is out."

They all cheered to that.

Inside he cried, sick of lonesome worries.

They ate and drank. Carefully avoiding the subjects of Will's funeral and Arthur's empty spot. Soon some of them left for the night shift at the Manor. Merlin stayed home. They would call him if he was needed.

When all the rest were gone home, he sat with Cenred and a bottle, deciding if he should drink until he passed out.

"You are afraid to go to sleep."

Merlin looked at him and nodded. "Yep, I am, but oh boy, do I need to sleep."

"Come", Cenred said and took his hand. He walked him into the bedroom.

"I'm not here to have sex with you."

He undressed in his shorts and laid down.

Merlin hesitated, then undressed too and laid himself next to Cenred.

In one grip Cenred pulled him to his body, put his arms around him and said: "Now sleep, my friend. I'll watch over you."

Grateful for his care and friendship, he nested with his back to Cenred's belly and enjoyed the vicinity of another human being.

He slept dreamless for hours.

Only the wakening was hard. For one horrific moment, he thought it was Arthur who held him.

Cenred left early and Merlin hummed around in his kitchen making coffee when his father appeared.

"Looking for this?"He said, placing an old golden cup on the kitchen table.

"Wait. What? How?"

"It's a long story for a winter's night before the fire. But it is the original, enchanted cup of life, still holding some dried blood of many ancestors."

"Good", Merlin said, "that's good. She will know it is genuine."

"Do you have a plan?"

"You will see", Merlin mumbled distractedly, "stay around, please, I might need you."

Will's funeral was horrible, as funerals are. Every single visitor of the memory service was crying. All the speeches were equally touching. The contrition Merlin still felt, reduced a little when his father told that they put him in his favourite T-shirt in his coffin; 'Live fast, die young'. "He did burnout indeed, instead of fading away."

In the end, Merlin showed them a compilation of pictures and pieces of film. He enhanced all while playing so it was as if he was right here talking to them. Will at his best, as they would always remember him.

After the funeral, Merlin and his friends stayed on the churchyard, gathered around the pile of black earth, Will's grave. The plan was to start a long and tiresome ritual with the cup of life, pretending to revive Will. He would have loved this plan.

Merlin was pretty sure, Morgause would appear to steal the cup.

After half an hour, with a big bang, she did.

They all cleared the spot. Except for Merlin.

She walked to the cup, stretched out her hand to fetch it. It burned, she had to release it.

"What?" She exclaimed.

"You have black magic. You cannot touch the cup."

Somehow Merlin's voice sounded different, higher but softer.

"Rubbish", Morgause retorted and tried to shift the cup. She wasn't fast enough.

That's when the fight began.

She attacked full of anger, a spoiled child, not getting what she wanted. Fierce she threw the first fireball.

Careless and yawning Merlin diverted the ball in her direction and enforced it.

Screaming she had to hide but came back with impressive beams of lightning.

With little than a wave of his hand every beam bounced on a shield, Merlin looking bored to death.

Morgause almost snapped with anger and impatience. She let the earth around Merlin explode.

He simply shifted to behind her back.

She fumed and fret and whirled around.

She threw moving knives to him, hundreds at a time. He simply turned them around so she had to flee a few yards before she was able to direct them into the earth.

She was now focussed only on fighting Merlin. Angry and greedy. She was desperately in need for the cup of life, not seeing he was merely provoking her.

She became careless.

They battled for half an hour, without any result. While Merlin just defended himself, without much energy. She weakened, sighed, grew tired.

She was totally unaware of Hunith having magic. And closing in on her.

Suddenly she found herself struggling with each step, stumbling. Realising too late, she startled and froze. Slowly she fell forward and drifted in midair.

From the moment she arrived, Hunith had started to tie her with one spell after another till finally, it worked. Hanging and powerless, she looked at Merlin who shivered.

His face rippled like water and one by one Mordred's features appeared.

Even his friends didn't know and gasped at the transformation.

The knowing and the fear in the eyes of Morgause were a huge reward for Mordred before he collapsed. Parceval caught him and carried him away.

Majestically Hunith came forward. She tightened the magical ropes till Morgause almost choke. She waved her hand and kept it high. "You can speak now." Morgause spit in her direction: "Where the hell is that warlock?"

Hunith just smiled.

Then it dawned. "No", she screamed, "Nooooo. Let me go bitch."

"Within five minutes", was all Hunith said and closed Morgauses mouth again.

They all came closer and waited, silently.

Balinor appeared only for Hunith to see. He nodded. She understood.

She tightened the knots until Morgause was red all over and not able to move or to even mumble a sound, hardly breathing. Even her eyeballs were stilled.

Elegantly but dazzling fast, Hunith moved her hands, waving long patterns. Cords of light appeared out of Morgauses body and reached for the sky.

Morgana walked up to Morgause. In her hands, she held the cup of life, filled to the edge. Drip by drip she poured the liquid into Morgauses frozen mouth, the eyes filled with the biggest fear on earth.

"Your death will be the price for balance. Your death will give life to Arthur."

Slowly Morgause disappeared till only the cords were left changing, waving in the air with magical lighting colours.

They waited some more.

The cords stopped moving.

\---

As soon as he sensed Morgause was gone, Merlin climbed the stairs to the top of the black tower. On top of it, he found Arthur's body, pale and cold. He tried not to sob. Instead, he untied him carefully yet rapidly.

So little time.

He untangled every magical chain, one by one. He had only half an hour, maybe less.

Merlin bowed till his forehead met the cold skin of his lover. He released his magic and to his relief, he found the special energy that made Arthur, Arthur.

Contained, locked away by black magic, death postponed.

He had to restrain himself to not to try and open it. There had to be a balance first.

He nodded to his Father who disappeared immediately.

By untangling the magical cords of Arthur's body at the enchanted altar, he started a chain of events. He couldn't stop it anymore. The exchange of life and death had to take place within minutes or Arthur would be lost forever.

He cried, bit his nails. It was all so lonesome. The burden of his decision, he shared only a little of it with Hunith and Balinor. He shared even less with Mordred who would impersonate him after practising all night, hopefully, long enough.

The confidence his friends gave him, without knowing any detail.

The risks he took.

Although he knew there was no other way.

Once he discovered Morgause had slaughtered Arthur already he had to act this way. She kept his body as her price to balance out the exchange of life and death, she caused some time ago.

The magical cords, hanging above Arthur, came to life, with light and exchange of colours. He took the knife and released his magic fully. His trembling hands were high above Arthur's body and he waited.

The timing was crucial.

The cords became blinding. With a few shivers, Arthur's body disappeared.

He waited some more. Took another breath and right when he used all his force to stab the knife down, Morgauses tied body appeared.

The knife went straight to her heart.

\---

On the graveyard for a short moment, the cords faded out. They stirred and then got blinding lights and colours again. With a few shivers, Arthur's body appeared. They all gasped and few shed some tears.

They had to wait.

After a tantalising minute, Merlin popped out of midair and fell on his knees right next to Arthur's body. Gaius and Hunith and Balinor ran to them. They held hands while Merlin and Hunith intertwined their powers and entered Arthur's brain. Carefully they pulled the containment away from the core of Arthur's being and left as fast as they could.

Within seconds, Arthur coughed and started breathing again. The stab wound in his heart healed within seconds, leaving only a purple scar. On Gaius advise, he kept him unconscious.

They said their goodbyes to Will's grave and brought Arthur home.

Perceval watched them coming from the terrace and said with a trembling voice; "It's the first time you bring life from a funeral."

Merlin put him in a warm bath and together with Hunith they washed the dirt from his body. Gaius treated his wounds and bruises. Then they put him in bed. Gwen and Morgana had changed the sheets. When Merlin was sure he was comfortable, he put him in a deep sleep.

It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, Arthur breathing again. The colour came back in his face and he made the familiar sounds he always did when he slept.

He checked on Mordred who was just exhausted, sleeping on his back with his mouth open a little. The two brothers would heal.

The evil was banished by the deaths of Uther, Nimueh and Morgause.

Outside he heard the laughter and banter, the celebration of life.

Before he joined his friends, he went back and stood for minutes watching the love of his life breathing and sleeping. This is pure happiness, pure joy, he thought. Everything would be fine from now on.

From his point of view, it certainly would.

In one of his pockets, forgotten, the crystal stirred and lighted up for a moment, changing the future once more, unseen, caused by choices people like Merlin made.

Balance restored. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Part 1.  
> The story continues soon as life at Ealdor Manor goes on, happy and festive to begin with and a lot of changes. They all earned some happiness. But will it last?  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> The story continues a tidy fifteen hundred years after the death of the once and future King Arthur, as told in the BBC series of Merlin.


End file.
